this fabulous life of mine continues

we are the world

2010-01-31T20:49:00.002-05:00

sup.

things i am loving: fernando. princess by vera wang. ankle boots. khloe kardashian. twitter. my spring 2010 schedule. being done with idl FOREVER. red velvet cake with baby kerrys homemade cream cheese icing. tasty world. my kiddies at biblioteca pinewoods. charter on demand. guac. bedrock. diet dr pepper. flannel. AVATAR.

I will refrain from going into my love for avatar for those of you who have yet to see it. Not because I am afraid of giving away anything, but because if you haven't seen it you will most definitely judge me. You will probably think I have spiraled into a deep depression and should be on suicide watch, but I can assure you that neither of these things are true. Let's just leave it at this: if you have yet to see avatar, you must see it. MUST. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. RUN, don't walk, to your nearest cinematic venue. NOW.

It has come to my attention that pre-nursing is not my calling. As I was sitting in my first Childhood and Family Development class, the professor began to list off the topics that we would be covering over the course of the semester. She began to list off subjects such as child rearing, family counseling, mate selection. WAIT. MATE SELECTION?? I looked around the class at the 100+ girls on the verge of creaming themselves at the prospect of being taught how to get their MRS degree without the trying task of actually having to obtain a degree. It was at that moment that I be came so fully at peace with the idea of purging pre-nursing from my life. The professor went on to tell us how many emails had been flooding her inbox of prospective students that couldn't enroll in the class because it had filled up so fast. I could not wait to get as far away as possible from that perfectly coiffed woman and her army of bimbo TAs. And so I did. I went straight home and dropped that "class" from my schedule, along with my short-lived dream of becoming a nurse. Chadios medicine. Helloooo rando liberal arts degree and misguided optimism about life after college.

Please do not take my lack of blogging as a lack of awesomeness in my life. My life freaking rules, rest assured. A couple of examples, completely gratuitous:

-NYE: the new year was rang in with party sneaks, lbds, and andre. and rum and vodka and white wine and beer, but who's counting? I woke up in the morning with an assortment of clues as to what had happened the night before. For one, I was in bed with Betsy. Score. I did not drunkenly invite any penises into bed with me. Next, I couldn't gather enough saliva to swallow. Although my head was suggesting that I had perhaps been in a three-car pile-up or a freak train accident, I felt it was safe to say that drinking was to be held accountable. Upon standing, I suddenly was in desperate need of a receptacle to catch fluids. With my head engulfed in porcelain, it was made clear that I had only consumed clear liquids. I took this as a good sign. When I regained my strength, I exited the bathroom and was greeted with an array of neon stickers along the living room and dining room walls. Definitely a clue, but I couldn't quite place my finger on the origin of 1979's new wall art. The beverage fountain was still full of cheap white wine, so I couldn't have drank too much of that. NICE! The kitchen was covered in a carpet of bar tar. Legitimate bar tar. In my kitchen. I knew exactly what that clue meant--1979 throws badass house parties!! I discovered more clues when I went to change out of my dress.. party wounds: two twin bruises the size of golf balls on either side of my lower back, one the size of a tennis ball on my left thigh, and a debatably broken nose. Easy--these clues all point to BADASS NYE! Nancy Drew ain't got nothing on this.

-CHARLIE WEEKEND: THE WEEKEND THAT COULD. Tasty world was host to the perfect storm of eurotrash and rage on Friday night, and of course we were at the heart of it all. I am a sexy bitch. Charlie is a sexy bitch. We were fist pumpin like champs and we lived happily ever after. Saturday night 1979 hosted a rousing round of edward forty hands, the game where everybody wins. Somewhere between finishing the forties and wine pong, I morphed into that girl. After passing out at the dining room table, Scott carried me to my bed. I rallied to play catchphrase LIKE A CHAMP but then passed out on the couch. I woke up on the OTHER couch, wishing helplessly that the hangover fairy would bring me a diet coke and brush my teeth.

And the countdown has begun: 26 days until the princess turns 21. Oh my gaga.

peace love and avatar

mountain weekend

2009-11-16T21:45:00.002-05:00

Through a series of random events, I found myself Charleston-bound on Thursday night. One horrendously filthy lie, a number one from Wendy's, and four glorious hours of my ipod on shuffle later, I had arrived in the All-American City. Holly Berry and I had a date with Conan but then PTFO in expectation of the weekend full of debauchery that awaited us in Fontana, North Carolina. Friday morning Hol had class (sucka!) so the Notorious V.I.C. and I hit up King Street for some breakfast. Majestic Grill was good to us--but not good enough. After our first breakfast, we headed next door to see what Breuggers had to offer. Yikesss. An hour before I was supposed to meet Hollis back at her apartment (I had her keys), Victoria decided to send us on a wild goose chase for the paddle she was supposed to have made for her initiation that weekend. So off we went--the blind leading the blind--to the closest Michael's. A half hour later, tomtom announced that we had reached our destination. I slowed the car so that Victoria could tuck and roll, made a victory lap around the parking lot, then swung back around and rewarded her timeliness with a full stop. She jumped into the car, beaming and flailing her XL paddle around, so proud of herself for sticking it to the man (the mini-version of her paddle was apparently $50 when bought through zeta, but V's XL version was $7 from Michael's. Lisa would be SO proud.). She wasn't even phased when I inquired about how exactly she was going to decorate it, since I so astutely noted that she hadn't purchased any letters or crowns or the like.. Not a problem, apparently. Whatevs. We didn't quite beat Hollis back to her apartment.. oops. I blame zeta.

We dropped little V off at class and then headed over to Pi Kapp to pick up our bitches. Us + dates + one dipshit pledge = cruel and unusual punishment for a six-hour ride up to bumblefuck, NC. ESPECIALLY hungover on the way back, but we'll get to that later. So Friday afternoon we got on the road and as soon as I got the okay I busted out one of my trusty PBR's. The princess needed to stop frequently from that point on.. oops. The Peebers made the ride endlessly more enjoyable, and before I knew it we had arrived. Lie. The final 20 minutes of the drive were HELLACIOUS. Szalez thought it'd be really cool to drive double the speed limit along the windy mountain roads in the pitch black with no road lights. SUPER FUN. Douchebag.

We dumped our bags in our cabin then made our way up to the designated party cabin for the weekend. I sipped on my wine because I'm a woman of class, then danced my ass off because you can only be a woman of class for so many minutes in one night. It was a bangin time. I made lots of new friends and maintained a perfectly acceptable level of drunkenness. Night one = great success.

Day two... success evades me. There is a strict Saturday itinerary on mountain weekend, which consists of waking up, binge drinking, the brothers/pledges football game at noon, followed promptly by more binge drinking. Breakfast was easily the best meal of the entire trip. The six of us consumed THREE POUNDS of bacon. ew. We paired our bacon with eggs and toast and mimosas and bloody marys. Mmmm. By the football game, we had transitioned to beer and margarita buckets (traditionally consumed out of a coffee pot with a straw). Then I took a power nap and rallied with the remains of my wine. Then bourbon and ginger. Then vodka and half of a gallon of cran-grape light. Then Gaines's moonshine paired with whoever else's drinks I stole and mixed with Gaines's moonshine. Needless to say, night two was wildly unsuccessful. We needn't speak of such low points in my drinking career. I can now tell you from firsthand experience what it feels like to wake up looking at a gun. I was assured that its name was "security," but safety and security and the like were not thoughts that crossed my mind.

Sunday was the biggest struggle of all. I spent the entire day in the car hating life. Our pledge was a chain smoker, so that was awesome. Also, he's a giant bitch who has terrible taste in music and has the audacity to say that everyone else in the car has shit taste in music. Oh and he repels women. Way to go, Pi Kapp. Way. To. Go.

Sunday night me and Victoria hit up Jim N Nicks for dinner, where I was attacked by a bottle of barbecue sauce. Appropriate that I left with battle wounds after attacking my bbq pork sandwich and mac the cheese. Lucky for me, Victoria ran into some basketball players she knows on the walk back to her dorm so I got to show off my awesome tye dye job. I'm slightly pissed that I didn't get my froyo on, but it was high time for me to hit the road to make it back to the classic city. Traveling always makes me appreciate Athens so much more. I love you, Athens. So much.

Today I started my new job. CHADIOSSSS slave labor-- HELLOOOO baby seat in the back of my jeep! Woop woop! I also started my volunteering position tutoring Spanish-speaking kids through the local library system. Today I tutored this little boy who was cute as anything, but had a baddd case of the crazies. Homeboy broke three pencils in the span of thirty minutes, then we switched to reading books. Sometimes I'd read to him--in Spanish and in English, and then he followed my lead and read me some books--in an incomprehensible melange of Spanish, English, and pig latin. Greatest rendition of Goodnight Moon that I've ever heard.

And on a final note: MTV: JERSEY SHORE: a dream come true.

peace love and mountains

2009-11-08T07:48:00.000-05:00

As I watched Pam’s big strong hand coming toward my face, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what…I have 4 kids…And I have a hover car…And a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends…and our kids play together. And I’m happy. And I’m rich. And I never die. And it doesn’t sound like much..but it’s enough for me.

-Michael Scott

who let the dogs out?

2009-11-02T14:27:00.003-05:00

haiiii blogsphere. i have missed you so. have you missed me? who am i kidding? of course you have missed me.

I am currently infatuated with the color purple, Ke$ha, zamzar, nose rings, spicy tuna rolls, MLIA, honeycrisp apples, cardigans, transmet caesar salads, and all things fall. duh.

Never have I ever celebrated fall more fervently than I have this year. I am legitimately cracked out on fall. 1979 has become a shrine to the season, and I must say--autumn looks nice on you, 1979. Last week, Kerry and I went pumpkin hunting. Baby Kerry raised hell over at Kroger, rummaging all up in their bins until we found three perfect pumpkins. We also managed to find the very last pumpkin carving kit at Joanne's, 50% off. Our wildly inappropriate ruthlessness paid off. GREAT SUCCESS. Now the front porch is decorated with an ostrich pumpkin (mine/catalinas), a dragon pumpkin (sarahs/baby kerrys), and a squirrel/ penis pumpkin (gresHAMs--no help from anyone! no stencils! swine you are worthy of our praise!!! all hail SHAM WOW!).

This weekend smel and I RAGED on fall edibles. I'm talking chili. cornbread. caramel apples. smores. pumpkin bread. candy corn pumpkins. mars mix of halloween minis. apple cider. pumpkin beer.

out. of. control. Fall just yacked all over the kitchen. nbd.

Now if only the weather would allow me to don sweaters and scarves and botas. Alas, I went to class in shorts today. heyyy climate change.

Last weekend smel and I trekked up to Chucktown to attend an art gallery opening. We're so damn cultured I can hardly stand it. I got to see sweet Vicky Torie and my GIRLLL Netta, and of course my love Holly Wolly. Hollis is a badass and was working at aforementioned art gallery opening, and so I think it's appropriate that we all take a moment to reflect on how we can better our own lame lives to become more like Hollis, and thus more of a badass. Ohmmm.

In my badass endeavors, I am considering putting a ring into my nose piercing in lieu of the stud. Too much? Tell me what you think. I may or may not care. ALSO I have always wanted to dye my hair bleach blonde. Never more-so than when I discovered KE$HA. I love this bitch. If you haven't heard her song Tik Tok you must download it asap. It's my JAM. Yet another to add to my list of celeb obsessions.

ANYWAYS Charleston was a b-last. As always, we had to hit Jim N Nicks and Einstein Bagels. And you know I got my Fro Yo onnn. Plus we went to a haunted corn maze, which was the shit. Except for when the dude with the chainsaw TOUCHED ME WITH THE CHAINSAW. I don't THINK so chainsaw dude. RUDE! Friday night after we'd had our fill of culture, we found ourselves a couple of keg parties. Keg party numero uno ended with a boy turning out the lights at 11 and yelling "PARTY'S OVER!" because homebody wanted to go to the bars and the keg was tapped. I was beyond appalled, but appeased when informed that we had a ride to another partayy. Party numero dos ended when I released all three of the resident canines into the great outdoors. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I LET THE DOGS OUT. The guy who lives there was so pissed, and started screaming "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?" Classic. I couldn't stop laughing and spewed beer all the f over their hardwood floors. For some reason, no one else found this humorous, so we excused ourselves and called a cabbie to shuttle our party fouled asses home. Saturday night (after I was scarred for life by the chainsaw incident) we played a rousing game of power hour then made our way over to Pi Kapp for some frat-tastic fun. A good time was had by all, until Sunday morning when we woke up 3 hours too late to get on the road, then ended up missing the entire lunch shift that we were supposed to be working. OOPS! I can always count on Charleston for a good time.

PARTY SNEAKS HAVE ARRIVED. They made their debut on Thursday night, paired with a black denim mini and a shit ton of gold jewelry. They're appropriately on display in my room, next to my tiara. I love you, party sneaks. So much.

NOW THE PARTY DONT START TIL I WALK INNNNN. DONT STOP. MAKE IT POP. DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP. TONIGHT. IMA FIGHT. TIL WE SEE THE SUNLIGHT. TIK. TOK. ON THE CLOCK. BUT THE PARTY DONT STOP NO.

peace love and party sneak$

i am bad boy. i loves it.

2009-10-12T16:24:00.002-04:00

wattup playa playaz

I am still on my endorphin high from spin class, so bear with me. I am in no mood to focus on one thing at a time. GET ON MY LEVEL.

On Wednesday I attended the Look At This Fucking Hipster convention under the pretense of attending the Blink 182 concert. I made Brandes come play chaperone with me, so the littlest Jennings could rage without mother dearest in tow. It just so happened that my love Dill was also in attendance. So there I stood with the only boys for miles rocking polos and jeans that weren't quite tight enough to put their junk on display for all to see, and for this I am grateful. Things were looking down as valencia took the stage, and just when we thought things couldn't get much worse, asher roth came on stage with two gay male strippers. I had no idea what the fuck was going on, but asher roth was just loving life. In lieu of dancing, asher wowed us with his ability to swing his arm back and forth in time with a beat. Oh and his overly zealous stomping/ fist pumping combo. Awe-inspiring, truly. Actually I def see myself busting out the stomp/ fist pump in the future...followed shortly by a swift knee to the head in the process.. ANYWAYS needless to say asher roth was a bust in concert. BOO. I still love college. Mark tom and travis finally made their way to the stage, and led me on a trip down memory lane. We had so much fun, fist pumping and head nodding and all things hipster. We discovered that Blink still has an insanely hardcore underground following who raged to every song, whether that be with tribal dancing or with emo tears; they knew every word to every song without fail and screamed them like their lives depended on it. We just couldn't get on their level. I'm okay with that. Oh and also travis barker is king.

My job is doing tremendous things in my life. Both my Thursday and Sunday shifts gifted me with cute boys, and while the profit margin may be dismal, I gladly accept eye candy as collateral. Thursday provided me with instant gratification, whilst the benefits of Sunday's prospects have yet to be reaped. All you need to know is that a fine ass peruvian man-boy wants to salir conmigo and said so en espanol. Oh and he calls me Saraita. You know I love that. But then he said, "those toes...I want to kiss those toes." ...que? He kissed my cheek and left before I could process that line. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it.

The boss man treated me to lunch this afternoon. I left my phone behind the bar at work last night, rendering me completely debilitated for the following 15 hours. So I went to retrieve my precious after classes today, and the boss man was just loving life. He had been flying solo all morning, and was quite pleased with the 60 dollars in tips he'd received from playing the roles of waiter/cook/bus boy, not to mention manager/owner, all by his lonesome. He asked if I was hungry, which of course I was, and so he fixed me his fish tacos that I love so much. We ate and he enlightened me on his value system as it pertains to gay marriage, abortion, and the death penalty (I was still mulling over our debates in francais this morning on said topics, but in my french class we are a bunch of flaming liberals and so I enjoyed boss man's ultra conservative take on things). And just like that a fish taco made my life infinitely more enjoyable.

This morning the sky opened up and yacked, worsening an already miserable monday morning. Smel dropped me off at class, but because I was phone-less, I was left to make the trek back to 1979 without even an umbrella to my name. I approached the bus stop just in time to see a Mill bus departing, so I settled in for the wait ahead. A second Mill bus FINALLY came, and as was to be expected, the sorostitutes were out to play. I found myself fending Lilly Pulitzer umbrellas off, in fear of losing an eyeball in the good fight against paisley. I was caught in a sea of North Face rain jackets and stupid rubber rain boots, and I got lost in the sorostitute storm. Before I knew it, the Mill bus was just about packed, and I wasn't quite on. I was determined, though, and just as I made it to the bus doors, a frat-fucking-tastic cretin ran up and jumped into the last iota of space available. My arch nemesis.

TO MY FRAT-TASTIC ARCH NEMESIS: I HATE YOU WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

On a final note, I have a new jam. Replay by Iyaz. I listen to it on replay (obvi), interrupted only by 3 by Britney and Kid Cudi's Pursuit of Happiness.

peace love and arch nemeses

i am optimus prime. KAPEESH!

2009-10-01T07:48:00.003-04:00

This morning I woke up at 4:45 am only to realize that I had never woken up from my nap that I lied down to take at 5:30 yesterday evening. Sigh. At least it was only a Wednesday--I'll watch Glee on hulu.. anything else is of little to no importance. I have had a very productive morning thus far. I banged around the kitchen a bit at 5--made a pot of coffee, fried up some eggs, toasted some toast, and poured myself some oj. (Deepest apologies if I disrupted your slumber, smel.) I then proceeded to dominate a psychology quiz and email my French professor about my presentation on Friday, and am currently toying with the idea of getting an endorphin fix at bodyplex before class at 11...we'll see.

Dear body, I am so sorry for denying you the sleep you had so obviously needed after the previous week chock full of debauchery. I will tend better to your needs after graduation. Promise. xoSJ

I love showing off Athens to out-of-towners. It's impossible to not have an amazing time in this outrageous city that I love to call home. Charlie flew in to hotlanta last week, and made his way to Athens on Wednesday. And what better way to welcome him than a rousing game of Edward 40-hands?? None other. obvi. Thursday morning consisted of enduring two and a half painful hours of class, and then sweet, sweet freedom. Well, almost. Between the hours of 6 and 10 I submitted to my scheduled slave labor duties, and then came sweet, sweet freedom. Smel, Charlie, Baby Kerry, Zack, and I took the streets of dt by storm. We had Greg and Mal Pal in tow, but parted ways after Mal Pal had a little lie down on the floor of east-west. Ohhh Mal Pal. After east-west we headed over to boar's head, where I made new friends. I was just loving life on Thursday night. I drank everything I could get my hands on. I started with tequila, seeing as it was tequila thursday after all, then had fletch make me my delicious pink lemonade at jr's then an amaretto sour, champagne, and whatever my friends bought me at boar's head.. shoop! I woke up on Friday morning with red wine stains on my sheets and crumbs stabbing every square inch of my skin. Apparently I poured myself a goblet of wine and insisted that everyone drink my wine and eat pokey sticks in my bed. I do vaguely remember peeling strips of pokeys from the box and flailing them around while everyone else was eating, but other than that no recollection. Thursday night = great success.

I didn't quite make it to class on Friday morning, but I did make it to Mama's Boy for the legends' Friday ritual. Had a revelation that blew my mind about being blackout drunk, but will spare Holly Wolly from hearing it once again since I spent the majority of the weekend talking about it.. oops. After chili, we headed back to 1979 and watched Adventureland. I ate an entire bag of grapes and made outlandish claims about never wanting to eat a grape again (I stole a few grapes from baby kerry this morning). After Adventureland, there was no time left to anxiously anticipate the arrival of our guests from chucktown because they had already arrived! Holly Berry and Vicky Torie pulled up to 1979 ridin dirrrrty. Actually just ridin with no ac, which is a lot more badass than riding around with drugs and such if you ask me. We wasted no time, cracking open beers and preparing a stir fry feast. We prettied ourselves up, then headed dt for round 2. Hollis was wearing this dress that I MUST MUST borrow when I come to visit Charleston.. just a head's up.. Fastforward to dancing on tables at bourbon, when we decided it was high time to head home. We got back, and laughed our asses off for the better part of the evening. I woke up on Saturday and my abs were legitimately sore. Victoria enlightened us on how to moon-walk, and how to fly DEE-tee, and how the ceiling is made of cheese... LLAP.

Saturday: Game Day.

scratch that.

Saturday: Monsoon Day.

1979 failed to make it to Sanford Stadium, and instead retreated back to the house to celebrate baby kerry's acceptance into the college of education!! woop woop! It was an excellent decision, if I do say so myself. Instead of getting pelted by obnoxiously large rain drops, we stayed warm and toasty and ordered in delicious pizza. Effing papa johns nearly ruined my night, but then the pizza finally arrived and all was right in the world again. The rest of the night consisted of sprinting into the house from the back porch in fear of our lives (thereby burning all carbs that were consumed earlier in the night), brainstorming elephant names: tandor turk, discussing deep things like being blackout, kerry and hollis swapping indian tribe info, and smel and i sketching off to ptfo. Appro-pro, seeing as we had to be up to work from 11-11 on sunday. ughhhh.

BEST! WEEK! EVER!

I am cocaine. Kerry is adderall. Smel is shrooms. Charlie is heroin. HEROIN!

Perez keeps trying to make "amazeballs" happen, and I want Regina George to tell him that amazeballs. is. never. going. to. happen.

Luckily, I have my very own 1979-version of Regina George (baby kerry). I also have a Ms. Norbury (smel) and a Janice (hollis/victoria). Charlie is aaron samuels, but we are lacking a Cady, a Karen, and a Damien. Any takers?

ta for now lovers.

my dreams are bursting at the seams.

2009-09-14T14:26:00.002-04:00

wattup!

I cannot get enough of Owl City right now. Fireflies. Hello Seattle. The Airway. Designer Skyline. Dental Care. Fireflies. Fireflies. Fireflies.

On Friday I went to see Sister Hazel at the Classic Center. Never have I used the word "awkward" to describe a concert, but I can think of no word that better embodies the experience that was had on Friday night. Things seemed to be looking up when we first arrived: there was this HOT MESS of a girl who stumbled out of the bathroom, then proceeded to slide down the entirety of the staircase with a smile spread across her face as if it wasn't WILDLY inappropriate for her to be blackout drunk at a Children's Miracle Network benefit concert (at 7:00, no less). We entered the theater and made our way past every yellow-collared dope who wanted to triple-check our tickets, all the way to the Pi Phi section. As an honorary Pi Phi, I proudly sported my VIP wristband and trash talked the cretins who had invaded the Pi Phi territory without wristbands. Before they were removed, of course. Things took a turn for the worse as the yellow collars took the stage and gave a lackluster intro for the main event. Sister Hazel took the stage, and I stood amongst the throng of my fellow concert-goers. I was ready to jam, but as I looked around during the opening number I realized a jam session was not on the agenda for the evening. Everyone was SO uptight, stiffened and seemingly disconcerted to even be at a concert. I flailed my arms and sang (read: shouted) along, and was getting looks. WTF. When the band would stop singing and direct the mike to the crowd to signal an impromptu sing-along, my voice was the only audible noise emitted from the masses. Ken Block described the embarrassing exchange as a "polite sing-along," but sadly he came to find that no, that's just typical weak shit Georgia crowds. I didn't let that ruin my night, though. I sang and danced along as if I weren't surrounded by a bunch of twerps with sticks up their asses. MVP moment of the night: when everyone else SAT DOWN DURING THE BASS SOLO (ARE YOU KIDDING?), Jacqueline, Melanie, Ku, and I just jammed. Glorious. Needless to say, I made Pi Phi look damn good. A mandolin moon and a champagne high later, I was loving life and wasn't even bothered by my embarrassing crowd counterparts.

On Saturday morning, I was the only lameass driving out of Athens on the sacred first home game of the season. Although I was bitter about this fact for the better part of my morning, by the time I had donned my new lbd in preparation for my flight instructor's wedding on Saturday night, thoughts of tailgating and kegs were off of my radar. I was all smiles as I thought of the prospect of an open bar paired with my favorite past time: people watching. And what a glorious night it was. I took Brandes as my date, and we decided that we should consider wedding crashing as a viable career option. During dinner, we sat at a table full of the bride's family members--I have met the bride all of ONCE, mind you. We stuffed Brandes's pockets with the candy that was sitting out for guests. We made nice with the bartender, and she hooked us UP. She crafted a sangria for me once the red wine was running low, and then treated me to "cool punch" when the sangria was out. After cool punch, she stopped naming her concoctions, instead focusing on avoiding any unwanted attention from the nearby cops as she dumped gin and beer in with the kiddy punch. Of course there was champagne for the toasts, and buckets of beer for when everything else was gone. CLEARLY I had a fantastic evening. Work the next day was rough, but it was worth it. Besides, boss man sent me home to take a three hour nap, which made life so much better.

I saw a guy get hit by a University bus on Friday. The story was not even published in the red and black. wtf. Our school newspaper is not competent of anything beyond daily crosswords and football coverage. You know, the hard stuff.

Okay I need to drag my ass to the gym. Peace out girl scouts.

peace love and fireflies.

hoedown throwdown

2009-09-05T19:19:00.003-04:00

I received a text message last week that read, "today marks the one month mark since you last blogged. Sucks that your life stopped being fabulous." So I figured it was about time that I provide a life update for my diehard fan. A life update on my still very fabulous life, might I add.

In celebration of my entry into junior year of college, I have decided to dip my toes into the foreboding "real world." Somebody bump "Independent Women" and let me throw my hands up at Destiny's Child because I am a honey makin money. HAY.

The motivation for my job hunt began with an overdraft here, an insufficient funds there. As these two occurrences started making more and more frequent appearances in my fabulous life, I considered my options. As you may have gathered, my efforts to acquire a sugar daddy were not as fruitful as I'd hope they'd be. Charlie and I discussed prostitution rather extensively, and although I ultimately ruled it out, I cannot speak for my money-maker-faced friend. After sugar daddy and prostitution, I was fresh out of ideas, so I mentally prepared myself to rock a blue collar. I did not actively pursue this lifestyle; I did so passively, inquiring about the "Now Hiring" sign as I was checking out at Old Navy with two new pairs of jeans ($19 sale what what) and halfheartedly filling out the thousand-question online application. I was all talk. I blathered on about this "job hunt" that I was pursuing in theory, and as luck would have it, that is exactly what led me to my current place of work. A friend told me that her and her boyfriend had eaten at a new Mexican restaurant and that the owner had mentioned he was hiring, so Smelanie and I worked up a hearty appetite and ventured over to have a Mexican feast and to inquire about the position. A veggie quesadilla later, I was convinced that this restaurant was my destiny. When I asked the owner if they were hiring, he gave me the once-over and told me I could start the next day. Baffled, all I could think to ask was what to wear (jeans and a tee shirt). It was only then, after hiring me, that he asked if I had any experience waitressing. I told him no, and he said "Don't worry, honey. I will to help you. If you make mistake, I fix it. I can tell you are good girl. I wish you to make good money here. I wish us to be best friends." And that was that.

I freaking love my job. My boss is the man. He's from Jordan, and I'm trying to get him to teach me Arabic. Thus far, I know two words: "habibi" and "ameera." "Habibi" means my love, and so that is what we call each other. "Ameera" means princess, but when I tried to get him to call me that he kept calling me Fiona, saying that I was the Fiona to his Shrek. That's a negative, ghost writer.

Other notables about the boss man: he is the owner/manager/cook/bus boy of a restaurant that is open 7 days a week, he thinks it's hysterical to call me "beeotch", he loves going dt- the loft is his fave, he drives this huge ass chester the molester van equipped with tinted windows, he is a lightweight (don't tell anyone it's a secret), oh and nbd he's the three-time national ping pong champion of Jordan. Third in the entirety of the Middle East. Yeah he just slipped that little nugget into conversation one day. Hasn't mentioned it since.

Smel and I work the entire day on Sundays--11 am until 11 pm. When I told Deany Weany this, he asked if I was doing time for a DUI. No DUIs, Deany, just getting those dolla dolla bills. I also am working away my Thursday and Friday nights, but it's quite alright because for the first time in my life I have cash money in my wallet. I have this great idea to deposit some of it in my savings, but thus far have not followed through on this noble idea. Instead, I buy things on impulse. The other day I went to Wal Mart and dropped 50 dollars.. today I dropped 60 at Target. Reflecting on this, I am currently revisiting the depositing earnings into my savings idea...and. um. yeah. That should happen.

Other things...

September 17th: Survivor: Samoa.
Thin Mint Tuesdays. Tequila Thursdays. Mason Jar Fridays? LEGENDARY.
I have nearly perfected the Hoedown Throwdown and am in search of a social gathering where I can flaunt my newly acquired life skill. Let me know if you know of such an event.
Saw UP at the dollar theater today. Cried three times. So much better than the Georgia game that I had to sit through right after.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back! I am waiting for the perfect fall day to have my first.. then I will crave them uncontrollably til it gets warm again. Curse you and your delicious libations, Starbucks. CURSE YOU!
The legends have found our morning-after restaurant and it is nothing short of glorious.
Coupons are one of my passions in life. This is a new revelation. I wish to make the majority of my purchases from now on using coupons. Thus far this semester, I have dropped coups at Inoko Sushi Express, Planet Smoothie, Smoothie King, Subway, and Papa John's, and I have no intentions of slowing down any time soon.
Just re-watched the 5th Harry Potter and definitely think that the showdown between Voldemort and Dumbledore is the all-time greatest fight scene. Ever. Also, have been pondering what my patronus would look like. I like to think it'd be an ostrich. I'd settle for a sea otter, though.
I really want a leather jacket.
Party in the USA is my JAM right now. I spent the hour and a half drive from Athens to Roswell listening to nothing but Miley. The Hannah Montana movie changed my life, and if you're judging me it's only because you haven't seen it.

Okay I have my DUI shift in the morning, so I'm off to bed. I am pledging to post more frequently so my fabulosity doesn't build up to the point that I can't focus because that is what's happening right now. Ta for now.

Some websites to peruse during class (or during your hiatus from school, whichever):

http://peopleofwalmart.com/

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

peace love and party in the usa

twenties

2009-07-29T15:54:00.003-04:00

Look, since your twenties are basically going to be chaos anyway, do as my grandma said to do: Take advantage of them and use the time to get some real life experiences. Travel, if you can. Try a new city. Suffer through a bunch of humiliating entry-level positions in the name of "comparison shopping."

Waitress in a scummy bar while you take voice lessons during the day or pursue your painting. Work for noble causes and nonprofits you believe in; chances are, like most do-gooder organizations, they'll pay you crap, treat you like shit, and work you to death, but hey! It beats becoming a corporate weenie at twenty-three and working eighty-hour weeks for some cryptofacist corporation that leaves you with zilch for a soul.

Now is the time when you can afford to experiment. For never again will you think it's kind of groovy to share an apartment with two other girls in the meat-packing district and eat dinner every night at bars that serve free ravioli and nachos during happy hour.

-Susan Jane Gilman, Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess

pura vida

2009-07-27T13:02:00.003-04:00

PURA VIDA, literally translated means "Pure Life" but means contextually something approximate to "Full of Life", "Purified life", "This is living!", "Going great", or "Cool!" It can be used as a greeting, as a word of farewell, to express satisfaction, and in some instances to politely express indifference when describing something. The phrase has become widely known; this highly flexible statement is used by many Costa Ricans (and expatriates) since 1956. Some foreigners view the phrase as an expression of a leisurely lifestyle, of disregard for time and wanton friendliness. However, Costa Ricans use the phrase to express something akin to a philosophy of strong community, perseverance, resilience in overcomming difficulties with good spirits, and enjoying life slowly and celebrating good fortune of magnitudes small and large alike.

i make them good girls go bad.

2009-07-22T11:59:00.006-04:00

hello all.

I have failed at every attempt to do day-by-day posts of my summer adventures, but whatever. That's not to say it doesn't bother me when I see days 1, 2, and 3, and days 4, 5, 6, and 7 are very obviously missing... but perhaps one day I will get to it. Perhaps not. I trust life will go on for most of you.

Two days after I got back from the big easy, I left for one of my favorite places in the world: Rutledge, Georgia. Rutledge, a self-proclaimed "small but special" town, population 700, and home to Hard Labor Creek State Park. Every summer, Roswell Presbyterian's youth group heads out to this glorious plot of nowhere for a week of straight up amazingness. Counselors head up the Friday before campers get there on Sunday to set up for the week and to have some time to ourselves. Upon arrival on Friday, the profuse sweating began and did not end until the following Friday. At Rutledge, hygiene is not a huge priority. Many shower in Rutledge lake--a lovely watering hole that stains you brown upon entry--and others choose not to shower at all. Andrew Brandes. The one hygienic practice we try to enforce is wearing deodorant, but there were a handful of rebels. What can you do? During the week, we play lots of softball, volleyball, and ultimate frisbee. Thankfully I had the freshmen girls for campers so I got to play in the "lower girls" league. My MVP moment of the week was catching a pop fly.. screaming as the ball arced through the air in my general direction, then taking a few less than graceful steps forward with my mitt outstretched and leaning forward, closing my eyes for a moment then opening them to see the ball had miraculously landed in my mitt, right alongside the dandelion that I'd woven into the palm of my glove. I'm a five year old girl. No big deal.

Meredith called me the Thursday night before we left for Rutledge to ask if I would do the morning skit with her.. I told her that she mustn't realize how very socially awkward I can be, but she insisted I do it with her. I responded that if she could find no one else then I'd do it, and listed off a handful of names of people who would be much better than I would be, hoping that one of them would be foolish enough to say yes. She grabbed me the next morning and told me what was only to be expected: she could find no one else, and so I would be doing the morning skit with her. Not that I don't love being in front of a crowd with a mike in my hand, it's just that I was terrified that no one would think we were funny. Apparently we did alright, though. I was Paris Holiday Inn and Meredith was my bff Nicole Poor-ie. It was hhhhhot. My personal favorite part was when I rapped, Bonquiqui style.

On the mike is a diva so listen to me scream-a.

I'm up here lookin hot.

We both lookin hot.

We strut on the runway.

We pose on the runway.

We both lookin hot and fly on the runway.

HAYYYYYY!

Skillz. I know.

A final note: WHO WILL PROTECT THIS HOUSE? WILL YOU PROTECT THIS HOUSE? WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!

We got back from Rutledge on Friday afternoon, then I slept for 14 glorious hours. I woke only because I had to go and see the new Harry Potter movie at the earliest time on Saturday (noon at Park 12. holler.). It was GREAT! Loved loved loved it. I wish I were Hermione Granger so badly. Also that Ron/ Rupert were my boyfriend (I'm in love with him as a wizard and as an muggle.. I don't discriminate). I had Blimpie for lunch, though, and was gravely disappointed. I was told that it was "exactly like Subway" but it most definitely was not. Subway is much better. Much.

Speaking of Subway, I just got back from Subway Fest 09. Me, Victoria, and the moms drove up to Charleston on Sunday afternoon for Victoria's orientation at the beginning of this week. We probably outdid Jared in Subway consumption over a three-day period. I need an intervention or something. The trip was great, though. Victoria got to meet all these freaks in her incoming class and calm her nerves a bit, whilst I got a jump start on my back to school shopping and celebrated free pastry day at Starbucks. Gosh my life. I also fell head over heels in love with Fresh Berry Yogurt, a Pinkberry wannabe I believe, but delicious nonetheless. On Tuesday, Victoria finished her advisement at like 11am and we had nothing else to do until 3:30 when they were handing out everyone's Cougar Cards at the bookstore. We got lunch at the dining hall, and walked around some, but ended up back at the bookstore waiting in line around 2. I picked up Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life and was cackling for all to hear. She is so freaking funny. I'm cheap and didn't buy the book, but my roomie has it waiting back for me at 1979 so I'll get to finish it later this week. Yessss.

This morning has been so nice. I got up fully rested, much UNLIKE the mornings waking up in the dysfunctional air-conditioned room at Days Inn. I enjoyed my coffee and cereal with Ellen Degeneres on her 51st birthday, then ran on the treadmill and have been enjoying my endorphin high ever since. I have flying lessons at 2 with Patrick, then going to the Braves game tonight at 7, then afterwards going to Athens to hang with my boo Tommy! Yay!

My current song obsessions are One Day by Matisyahu, Down by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne (obvi.), and Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship ft. LEIGHTON MEESTER. Bahhh I freaking love her. She's such a g.

Victoria has brought it to my attention that I have a lot of celebs that I am obsessed with and or want to be. Leighton Meester, Nicole Richie, the Olsen twins, Emma Watson/ Hermione Granger, Penelope Cruz in Vicki Christina Barcelona, Kristin Cavallari, Angelina Jolie.. Yes I am indeed obsessed with all of them, and probably more that I am forgetting right now, but wanting to be them? Eh. My life is pretty flippin sweet. It's good to be me.

peace out girl scouts.

peace love and yay me.

300 words on my experience in guatemala

2009-07-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

Why are we here? To glorify God, to worship Him, and fellowship with one another. The Sunday morning ritual was being echoed a thousand miles away from home, and was just as fitting for our mission trip as it is for Sunday morning worship. At RyeX, the youth group prepares itself for worship with this mantra, so it only made sense for our Guatemala mission trip group to prepare ourselves with such a mantra; for the worship we would be doing through service for the next eight days in Guatemala. We were there first and foremost to glorify God. Personally, I felt I was fulfilling this task best in serving those around me, by striving to be Christ-like and to let my actions speak on behalf of God. We were also there to worship Him, which we did both conventionally—singing praise songs, sharing testimonies with one another, and attending church services—and not so conventionally—schlepping concrete to work sites, playing futbol with our vacation bible school students, and donning a pair of soccer cleats on barefoot children. Finally, we were there to have fellowship with one another. This last bit is by far my favorite part of any mission trip—the relationships formed with those we are serving. I find no greater joy than breaking language barriers and forging friendships with our brothers and sisters in all parts of the world. We also are able to strengthen our fellowship with one another within the church family, both youth and adults alike, which is awesome. This was my third mission trip to Guatemala, and I hope it won’t be my last. It’s an amazing experience in so many ways; I so hope that more people will get to be a part of what God is doing in this beautiful country.

the big easy-day 3

2009-07-03T18:56:00.001-04:00

salut.

Today we went out to lunch with Pawpaw, Mimi, and Aunt Terri at Acme on the north shore. Upon arrival, Pawpaw fawned over how freaking tall Paul is, how I have blossomed into such a lady, and how much Victoria resembles a prostitute. I kid you not. The man went on and on about how Victoria looks like a hooker. A high class hooker, of course. He said that he’d be her pimp and would sell her for $5000 a trick. That’s my fam! Pawpaw has nicknames for all of us; Mom’s the poot, I’m the tomato, and Victoria is the potato. So the moral of the story is Pawpaw has a classy tomato and a trashy potato. Also Pawpaw is a g.

After lunch we headed back to Gretna and donned our bathing suits and sat poolside for a few hours. Then we headed over to the Gretna BMX track for Joseph’s race around 6. Joseph is known as “Joseph the Dirt Devil Middleton” with him BMX peeps. He is the image of U, S, and A in his star spangled shirt and pants, flag bandana around his neck, and a red, white, and blue bike. God bless Uh‘merica. Joseph won the blue ribbon for his age bracket, and was quite pleased with himself. By the time all the races were done, it was already past 9. We headed over to Tennou for sushi night, though, because we are troopers. The Jennings clan ordered our weight in sushi deliciousness and did WORK. From squid salad and edamame all the way through salmon sashimi and the New Orleans roll..we all left with food babies and an inkling of self-loathing, but sated nonetheless.

I'm not so much in the writing mood so ta for now.

peace love and trashy potatoes

the big easy-day 2

2009-07-02T23:46:00.000-04:00

‘ello there.

Day 2 at Children’s has left me overly stimulated to say the least. I started out on the sixth floor shadowing Sam the RN. Ms. Linda sent me straight up, do not pass the cafeteria for coffee, do not collect $200. So I spent the next 3 hours of my life in a decaffeinated stupor, daydreaming of coffee and naps. We started rounds at 7:40. Sam only had four patients, so we just snuck into each of their rooms to check up on them and give them their meds. It didn’t take us too long. After rounds it was time for paperwork. Sam felt terrible that she didn’t have more for me to see and do, and I kept assuring her “no, no I’m really not bored.” Unfortunately all the yawning I was doing put a damper on how convincing I was. I ended up leaving at 10:30 to head back down to PT. Chadios 6^th floor.

I came down and found Mikey in the back room playing with the Wii, so I went and joined him and his grandma. I’m obsessed with his grandma. Her name is Gigi and her grandson calls her geeg for short—exactly like my all time favorite grandmother in the entire world, Gigi Debow. So I have decided that I’m going to call myself Gigi—Geeg for short—when I have my own grandchildren.

After Mikey left I went with Ms Linda and Cayli to hang out with Trinity. We did more scooting exercises and more pushing her down so she could pull herself back up. Then we threw a ball with her and she was cracking us up. She’d go “Ready. Ready. Ready…” Then as soon as you tossed the ball to her she’d yell “NOT READY!” and cover her head with her hands and duck into Ms Linda’s lap. She’s so cute.

For lunch Ms Linda and I hit up the garden burgers in the cafeteria. We had a staff meeting during our lunch hour, so I sat there and listened to Anna extensively discuss the attendance policy for patients. Riveting.

After lunch we went up to the third floor so Ms Linda could say goodbye to this precious little girl who had been her patient for a while and was going home today. Then we headed back downstairs to play with Mikey again. He had already been fart machine walking with Rachel by the time we got down there, and Mikey was ready to play. He wanted to play catch first, so I threw the ball with him while Ms Linda spotted him because he lost his balance every time he threw the ball without focusing. Then Mikey wanted to play on the mat, and Mikey gets what Mikey wants. He ran over to the mat and flipped onto it as Ms Linda was telling him “Um…no there’s not enough room for us on the mat…” So then Ms Linda, Cayli, and I piled onto the mat with Mikey and let him tackle us and come at us with that weak hand of his. Afterwards he told me to lean over because he wanted his stuffed animal to give me a kiss. Precious.

After Mikey left with Geeg, we had burn victims to tend to. Ms Linda, Ms Anna, Cayli, and I all piled into the back room with the family of the first patient. It was a sweet little girl who had stepped onto a two-day old fire pit that was still smoldering and burnt her whole left foot. Ms Linda was going nuts picking off all of the dead skin on that little girl’s foot before we put new dressing on it. The dad had long nails and a vile around his neck. Fail. Nothing compared to the next dad who strolled in…the next man was a GIANT ape-looking man with nappy grey dreds down to his shoulders. Wowza. He strolled in with the baby momma who was easily 20 years younger than ape man. They were the parents of a sweet little girl who had stepped on the momma’s curling iron and burnt the bottom of her little foot. The foot was all healed, so the girl just needed a couple band aids and we sent her on her way. There was also a sister in the room who was at least 14..which puts the mother’s age into perspective. They were quite the crew. Quite the crew indeed.

We headed up to NICU to check on the EB babies, and change the dressings on one of them. It was this sweet little boy with a crazy ass right foot. They kept calling it a “circus foot” because his dang toes touch his shin in a resting position. WTF. So we checked for new blisters, and popped the single new one we found on his right hand, then changed all his dressings out. His poor little right leg is completely raw, so he was freaking out when we were messing with that leg. His heart rate got up to 217 poor baby. After we finished up in the NICU we headed back down to the third floor to clean up some bed sores on this poor girl down there. They were nasty looking, but we did work.

MVP moment of the day: On the elevator, when Ms Linda and I were heading back down to the first floor, the ghost of New Orleans past hopped on the elevator with us. This woman was trash through and through, strutting through the hospital barefoot with a pack of cigs in hand and wrinkles a mile deep. Her raspy smoker voice instructed us to hit the third floor button for her, and her shirt actually said, “FOR SALE. MAKE AN OFFER!” Ms Linda and I could not even look at each other as we bit our tongues waiting for the third floor to come around. As soon as she was out of earshot, we burst into hysterical laughter. So New Orleans.

After work we headed home and stuffed our faces with bbq pork, cole slaw, and salad. It was freaking delicious. Ever since I have been gorging myself on trashy MTV shows. It has been wonderful thank you very much. But now I’m freaking exhausted.

peace out girl scouts.

peace love and make an offer.

the big easy-day 1

2009-07-01T23:17:00.001-04:00

yo.

I am currently kickin it in nawlins. This pristine plot of earth just so happens to be my birthplace. My hood, if you will.

Good ole NOLA—home of huge ass beers, drive through daquiri stands, and the saints. Strip clubs, casinos, and bars abound. The inhabitants are no less colorful than their surroundings. Yes, indeed—these are my people.

Driving into the city yesterday, as we were passing the dome for the umpteenth time in our lives, we found ourselves shocked and awed by the billboard that was facing us...

I’ll let this billboard speak for itself. And I feel that it speaks VOLUMES on behalf of the refined society that is nawlins. WHO DAT!

Gotta rep the 504. Show some love peeps.

So this morning I got up bright and early with Ms. Linda to play take your best-friend-from-high-schools-daughter to work day. I rocked a full set of scrubs and my pink crocs circa freshman year of high school. I was looking fly. Obvi.

We got to work and hit up the cafeteria for some coffee for me and diet coke for Ms Linda, then headed over to the physical therapy department. We sat in the staff lounge for a while, meeting and greeting everyone as they came in. I already knew Lori, Ms. Linda’s sister, and Dayna, their good friend, but there were 5 other girls in the department. Today was Hillary’s birthday, so Ms. Linda baked two fatty cookie cakes for everybody. We busted into those bad boys before shifts started at 8am. I shadowed Ms. Linda around in the morning. We started with a burn victim dressing change at 8. It was a little girl with her entire upper back, shoulders, and neck covered in freshly raw skin. Apparently the mom accidentally spilled a pot of scalding hot water on the girls back when she was doing the little girls braids one day. The mom feels so bad about it that she can’t sit in the room with her daughter while the girl is getting treated.. honestly. Grow a pair. That poor little girl was screaming and crying, asking for her momma, and I was holding her hand. Well, holding her hand and being sweet with her while they were peeling off her old dressing, but then when they were popping blisters and scraping off debris and rubbing on the ointment, I had that poor girl’s wrists on lockdown to repress her highly developed wiggling abilities. Homegirl wiggled out of both of her socks AND her panties by the time we’d finished. And that was with the straps on the table strapping her down too. 45 long minutes later, we had her back in her spongebob dress and with her momma again.

Since it took us so long to do the first patient, Ms. Linda sent her student Caysi to go hang out with their 8:30 patient, Haley. Haley is a sweet little girl who I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with, but she has a sweet pink helmet that she has to wear all the time because a good part of her skull is shattered. At 9, Ms Linda, Caysi, and I went up to NICU to see Ms Linda’s EB babies. EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa) is a skin disease that you’re born with that basically means the babies get blisters whenever they touch anything. Their skin is so fragile and the blisters form pretty much continually--in response to any form of friction. You have to pop the blisters whenever they form so they don't spread. You can only pick the babies up with a fleece blanket, and they can only wear certain diapers and drink out of certain bottles, etc. etc. etc. Poor things.

After the field trip to the NICU we headed back to PT to hang with more kiddies. There were kids all over the place, most notably the little girl projectile vomiting in the corner. The little girl’s name was Duchess. Duchess has a sister and a brother: princess and prince. I kid you not. Duchess is an absolutely gorgeous little girl. She's about eight months old, with a head full of curly curly black hair. She also looks like she’s always giving you the stink eye. It’s very serious business being a duchess, don’t you know. Sweet duchess has respiratory problems and pretty much zero muscular capability in her little arms and legs. I got to spend some quality time with the duchess in the afternoon, which is how I came to know all of this. I also know that she throws a fit if you take her off her oxygen for any small amount of time (we were just switching her from her portable oxygen to her oxygen that’s hooked up to her bed and she started freaking out—huffing and puffing and salivating and snotting. Lovely little thing.) and what her smile looks like (I somehow managed to get a little smirk out of Miss Priss. Thrice, thank you much.). I came to grow quite fond of the duchess. I identify with her regal strife. It’s hard being royalty.

Caysi, Linda, and I had Trinity next. Everybody calls Trinity Tee-Tee. Tee-Tee has spinabifida, autism, and both of her little legs in big casts. Poor baby. We worked on scooting side to side, because she’s about to get a new wheelchair that she will ideally be able to scoot herself onto. She can scoot forwards and backwards, but not so much with the sideways. So it was more of Caysi picking Tee-Tee up and plopping her down a couple inches to her left. Sometimes she’d push Tee-Tee backwards to make her prop herself back up. Sounds mean, but Tee-Tee was loving it. She’d just giggle and whoop and whatever else. Her favorite phrase is “whip it,” which is a command directed towards Ms Linda, instructing her to “whip” someone…which actually translates to clapping twice in the vicinity of the whipping victim. She also loves to crash into things, and yell out “CRASH! BOOM!” She made me laugh.

After Tee-Tee it was time for lunch. During lunch, there was a presentation scheduled about wheelchairs and the adjustments that are being made in the production of wheelchairs in this economy. Although this may sound less than riveting at face value, the speaker brought 10 boxes of pizza, 2 things of salad, and 2 liter bottles of coke products with him. Chat away! It was de-freaking-licious. Oh and I almost forgot! Today was the first Wednesday of the month, which means free ice cream day at the hospital! Ohh my. Don’t mind if I do. They had a couple of options, but I was sold at “salted caramel”. I heard Demi Lovato talking about this deliciousness on It’s On With Alexa Chung last week, and have been dying to try it ever since. It did not disappoint. The salt just brings out the sweet of the caramel...very yin and yang. Def a new favorite flavor.

So after lunch Ms Linda had this little boy Mikey coming in. Mikey is the cutest freaking thing since I don’t know what. I am head over heels in love with this kid. He’s like an old man trapped in a four year old’s body. A beautiful blonde four year old with chipmunk cheeks and the heartiest laugh you’ve ever heard. Everyone loves him, and it’s easy to see why. Mikey had brain surgery a while back, and has had many subsequent brain surgeries that have left one half of his body much weaker than the other half. He rocks this sweet Spiderman shinguard thing, as well as a spidey-esque tape job on his bad hand. So for his PT, we went on a walk through the hospital with the fart machine. It’s his favorite thing to do, and it never gets old for him. He sends someone to walk in front of him with the fart machine hidden in their back pocket, then follows behind with the remote control and just about kills himself laughing every time he presses it. He was seriously falling over on the ground laughing the entire time. It was hysterical. I got the esteemed opportunity of being the farter in his little game, so I walked around the entire first floor getting dirty looks all the while. Then after I ran around the lobby with it for a little while, Mikey’s grandma, Gigi, took over. The woman deserves a freaking academy award. She was running around acting a fool, and had a couple of women straight up stop in their tracks to make sure she was alright. She’s a g. By the time we got back to PT, Mikey was pretty tired, but he wanted to wrestle with Ms Linda so we went and sat on the mats. Mikey is only allowed to fight with his bad hand, and is required to stand when fighting. It was cute when I was watching him attack Ms Linda, but then they sicked him on me. Mikey came running at me, full speed, then collapsed on me but not before he stuck out his bad hand to jab it straight into my neck. He proceeded to slam that little gimp hand of his into my neck again and again until his time was up. Mikey don’t play.

After Mikey, Ms Linda took me up to the sixth floor so I could shadow a nurse. I was shadowing a girl named Sam, who reminded me so much of my cousin Aimee. She was so funny. We didn’t have too much to do, because it was already 2 and so it was pretty much paperwork til the night shift started up, so she invited me to come back and shadow her tomorrow morning. I sat around with all the other nurses, and when Sam told them that I was thinking about being a nurse they all responded, “Run while you can! There’s still time! Don’t look back!!” One guy was in his last year of nursing school and kept asking me all these questions about school and where I want to do nursing school and what type of program I want to do and all this… I have no freaking clue. I’m just seeing if this is what I want to do! Thus far things are looking up. I can def see myself being a nurse. But I just don’t know.

I got to play with Duchess and another sweet baby girl, Madison, while Sam worked on paperwork and dealt with some lab drama. A resident came up to me and asked if I knew where something was. Ha! Go me. Apparently I look totally professional. Oh PS it’s July 1. July 1 is the first day of residency, which means the worst time to be in a hospital. Stay away people!

Other highlights of the day included meeting Nicholas, a boy who is a celeb in the hospital. He pretty much lives at the hospital; he gets dialysis 3 times a week. At the hospital or not, though, this kid calls up every department in the hospital from his pink iPhone all day, every day. He has Ms Linda’s cell phone number, and apparently they chat all the time. Nicholas is hysterical. He thinks that Ms Linda is a “winner winner chicken dinner” and that Ms Lori is a “looooser”. I was awarded the title of a “little winner” because I am Ms Linda’s friend. Go me. His favorite color is pink, he loves Deal or No Deal, and had a bingo birthday party for his 20^th birthday this past year. Also I got to wear a nametag. How very official. And the final highlight of my day was a delicious cheap Mexican feast for dinner. I had fajitas and so much queso. Mmmmm.

Okay I am freaking exhausted.

Laissez les bon temps roulez.

peace love and salted caramel ice cream.

guatemala day 3

2009-06-16T11:50:00.002-04:00

Domingo literally translates as "day of most fireworks" in Guatemala. POP POP POP it's 6:15 baybeee rise and shine! POP POP POP In my early morning stupor, I convinced myself that some cruel soul was actually stomping back and forth on our back porch just to spite me. Between bouts of sleep, I'd rouse, always with the same train of thought, "WHO would be so awful as to be stomping on our porch at such an hour??? Who and why? WHYYYY Rude.." Then fall right back asleep. I got up eventually, and jumped in the shower. Showers in Guatemala are fun because you kind of feel like you are living life on the edge. They hype up the water contamination so much to make sure that nobody slips up, so everyone has the idea that a drop of water that doesn't come out of a bag is a death wish. In the shower, you are forbidden from opening your mouth or other such blasphemy. Then, if you are able to survive the treachery of the shower water, you advance to the battle of brushing your teeth. This task must be performed with bottled water, and most prefer to brush their teeth outside, as far away from the sink as possible. Personally, I use the water scare as an excuse to shy away from hygiene from the week. I shower as infrequently as possible, forgo shaving, and put my faith in men's deodorant. You say bad hygiene, I say saving the world. Tomato, to-mah-to. After a giant breakfast and three cups of cafe, I was ready for the day. There was an optional church service at the hotel right after breakfast, but in expectation of the two other services we'd be required to attend later in the day I said no gracias. My breakfast table stuck around after Thomas had picked up our plates and decided to play the zoo game. GREATEST GAME EVERRR (shout out to my c rica peeps. obvi.). I had been spouting ostrich stats [[45 mph, can kill a lion (king of the animals--ha!) with a swift kick to the neck, imitating the mating call, etc.]] since we arrived so Victoria chose to be the ostrich, the true animal king. I was the elephant, as usual, Jason chose the lynx, Trey chose the hippo, JLo chose fish out of water, and Steve chose the snake. It was glorious. Duh. We played til our hands stung and then switched to Jamaican Me Crazy, or the slap hand circle game. We drew a crowd because of our amazing skills, but then had to break it up so we could go get our shop on at the market, Chichi's main tourist attraction. I went around with Jason and Victoria, which was fun because it was Jason's first time. All of these women and children run up to you in the market and try to get you to buy their useless souvenirs, and Jason was hilarious with them. They'd say a tablecloth for your table! And he'd respond that he didn't have a table. They'd say a purse for your mother! And he'd respond that he didn't have a mother. He was just lying all over the place, to anyone and everyone. Mentiroso. I was able to walk around and honestly tell the vendors that yes, that is lovely, but I already have two thank you very much. Some were persistent, and would say but this one is different! You should have this one! And I'd assure them no, no. Have two. Yours are the exact same. Then there was one girl who wouldn't stop following me, and trying to get me to buy her headbands, but then all of a sudden she decided to change her approach and started asking me for the headband that I was wearing. I told her sure thing, and gave it to her, and she ran off. That was definitely a first. I ended up getting two new tees, a purse, and some bracelets. But really, I already have my fair share of kiss kiss dolls, patchwork purses, ponchos, artwork, pens, headbands, braided bracelets, keychains, skirts, etc etc. I was such a sucker for the trinkets back in the day. We headed back to the hotel in the afternoon to change for round two of church for the day. For this service, we were going to Abel's church just down the road from our hotel. Unfortunately, when leaving the hotel property, we are required to wear closed-toed shoes. The only closed-toed shoes I brought are my Keen hiking boots. I paired them with a dress. Fail. Victoria rocked blue Sketchers with a skirt she bought in the market and her t shirt from the scholarship dinner. Fail. Needless to say, we looked ravishing. So we headed over to Abel's little church down the road and Trey and Jessica told me they wanted me to help out with VBS in the basement of the church instead of listening to Tim's sermon. Score. So we stuck around long enough to belt a rousing rendition of santo, santo, santo (in an entirely new tune, of course) then Trey, JLo, Jason, and I peaced out with all the little ones and followed them to the basement of the building. Trey and JLo had told me they just wanted us to come and hang out with the kids and kinda help out with the teachers when needed, so it was a great surprise when we got down there, and there were 60 or so kids waiting eagerly in a circle around the room. They were all staring at us, and we all kind of looked at each other not really knowing what to do, and that's when the teachers asked what we had prepared. F our lives. We scrambled to figure something--anything--out. We ended up playing simon says (ran out of things to say in Spanish very quickly..), head shoulders knees and toes (we did it in English, then couldn't quite keep up with their Spanish version because they threw in these weird verses about Jesus), hokey pokey (the song is so different in Spanish..the only part I could sing was HEY! and I don't even think that was right), and we sang I got the joy in my heart because it was the only song we knew in Spanish. Ah. So then we were each sent with a different age group to classrooms. Jessica got the littlest ones, I had the next age up, and Jason and Trey went with the oldest kids. So I sat down awkwardly on a bench in my classroom, and just kind of let the teacher know that my thinking on my feet skillz were MIA for the time being. She gave me one of the workbooks, and so I sat there and recited a bible verse with the rest of the children half my size. She went around the room and made everyone recite it from memory, and I actually managed to do it when she called on me. I was so nervous! Then she asked if I had any words for the children, and I panicked and said no. Then all I could think was how awful I must seem as she prayed us out of there. Then we all walked upstairs to join the congregation again, and I just stood with JLo and held babies with her. Love the babies. We handed out the thirty suckers we had brought with us to the kids that walked by us because we couldn't hand them out earlier (too many kiddies). After church, we went back to the hotel and changed out of our fancy clothes. Then we had some time to kill before dinner, so JLo and I ran off to the market to buy some bread for pb&j. We came back and I gathered a few peeps to help me creep into Jennifer Squires's room and decorate for her birthday which was yesterday. We threw crepe paper around and made a few signs, hung a banner, and were just about ready to peace out when we were SPOTTED. Kady, specifically. Fail. Jennifer sent her hubby Will up to beat up the intruder, and so he tried to cover for us but was sent up two more times before dinner to double and triple check because she was SURE she had seen someone in an orange shirt in her room. She finally went and checked for herself, and thanked us at dinner. After dinner came round three of church. Actually, I had managed to skip both the first and second services soo it wasn't too bad. We did this weird relay activity, where the entire group divided into two teams, so we had two lines of 22 people. Everyone was told to grab the shoulders of the person in front of them, then basically do two laps around the room in a race against the other line. The next time around, we were told to walk with a limp as we did our laps. Then for the third one, the best of them all, we were told to cover the eyes of the person in front of us. Trey tried to pick my nose, then ended up nearly ripping my face off, so that one was super fun. Tim tried to tie the relays into his talk, but it didn't make them any less dumb. Good times. Afterwards, pb&j krewe round 3. It went so much better tonight. Hooray. Tomorrow will be our first real day of VBS and construction. I'm so excite.

peace love and ostriches

guatemala day 2

2009-06-15T21:03:00.001-04:00

Woke up bright and early Saturday morning to the sound of fireworks being set off by the local shamans (or as our church so lovingly calls them, "witch doctors"). Those of us from north of the border are so damn jumpy. We're all screaming, ducking to avoid gunshots that aren't there, and flinching at regular intervals, which in turn yields looks of inquiry from locals who have grown immune to the continual explosions. Embarrassing. So I gravitated towards the amazingness that is Guatemalan coffee, and eventually reached a state of full consciousness. We feasted on eggs, the best french toast ever, bacon, frutas, tortillas, and oj. After breakfast, we headed over to Serrapio's church in Chulumal. Serrapio is such a g. Unfortunately the event was a bust. We invited all the families we were going to be helping this week to come and hang out with us and no one showed.. everyone was working. There were two families there, and all 44 of us swarmed at once. Yikes. We sang a couple of songs, including our theme song: santo, santo, santo. Santo, santo, santo might actually be a pretty song, but none of us know the lyrics, and more importantly no one knows the tune. So it comes out as a cacophonous jumble of broken and mispronounced Spanish and is miserable for all parties involved. For some reason they want us to sing it ALL THE TIME and we still aren't getting better. No bueno. So we peaced out after our little fete and headed back to Casa del Rey (yeah beeotches that's the king's palace to you. represent.). The muscles of the group left us to go schlep concrete bags and check out all the sites for the week, leaving the rest of us to set up for the scholarship dinner. After every table was set with centerpieces, place cards, beanie babies, and gift bags, we were dismissed. Me and the roomies went down to the cocina for snack time. Emily and Morgan wanted guacamole, but the staff said they were out. NOOOOOO. So they got french fries instead. After snack time came nap time. Obvi. We were supposed to go help Deb Shep with VBS at 3 but went ahead and slept through that.. oh well. After a long and glorious nap, we slowly rose and donned our sweet tees for the dinner. See sweet tees below.

For the scholarship dinner, I was a greeter because my mom was making claims that I am "fluent" in Spanish. I suppose that I am indeed fluent relative to the woman who replied "Lisa" when asked "como esta?" in C Rica, but to the native children of Guatemala I am far far from it. Whatevs. So children come in by the busload, and there are three of us at a table with everyone's names and seating arrangements on like 20 sheets of paper. Luckily, they were all wearing name tags so we could push em through to the ushers pretty quickly. Once all the kiddies were seated, I found my table and grabbed a seat. I was with a bunch of 17-year-old girls from Quiche. They were straight up gs. I loved them. We chatted about school and what I was studying and how their recent slew of exams went and all that then we started discussing boys and the distinct difference between using "calor" or "caliente" when talking about oneself, which Geovanny taught me in C Rica. They all said that they weren't allowed to date yet, and that their padres forbid them from doing so until they were at least 20. The conversation turned to me, and they were asking if my parents had to approve of boys I date. I told them no, and they were shocked, so then I thought I had misunderstood and quickly assured them that my parents had to approve if I was getting married. Then one girl made a joke about slowly removing a few items a time from your parents house to move out without them noticing. I love understanding jokes in Spanish! So we laughed a lot, and I ended up with a novio by the end of the night--the lone boy at our table stock full of girls. His name was Jeffers and he was cute as a button and probably about 14. Go me. The girls selected some boys from the room, and so I went and got them to come take pictures with them. My favorite was when they started asking for Chaz. Chaz, on the complete opposite end of the room, almost out of sight from our table. Almost, but apparently not completely because they were definitely demanding Chaz. At the end of the dinner, they all made me give them my email address, but only one of them had an email address to give me. The rest assured me that they will def send me an email as soon as they get an email address. Ah love them long time. I was sad to see them go. We were all exhausted, but it was time for another rousing devo courtesy of Tim. After devos came pb&j, and it was our first night introducing the "special request list". We were just asking for divas with that one. Trey diagrammed out a sandwich for us to construct for him tomorrow: wheat bread- crunchy peanut butter- white bread- strawberry jelly- white bread- creamy peanut butter- wheat bread; squish to fit bag. Our pb&j krewe was sub par. Last night, it was Paul and a bunch of his friends so the noise level never went below 1000 decibels. Tonight, though, was a different sort of flaw to the team. The flaw that was growing teenage boys.. These kids had just eaten a huge dinner, but were trying to eat everything they could get their grubby paws on! They'd make a sandwich, and then deem it "inedible" because it was made with an end piece, or an "extra" because that category's quota had already been filled, and before me or JLo could say otherwise they would shove the entire thing in their mouth. Cooooool. After pb&j we tried to organize another round of charades, but ran out of time. So off to bed. Ta.

peace love and caliente

guatemala day 1

2009-06-05T12:59:00.001-04:00

hola hola hola

Flashback to Friday morning at 5 am, when RPC's Guatemala Team were the only freaks in Roswell rising before the sun. Cut to 5:30 am, when the Jennings fam piled into a STYLIN mini-van , happy as clams. In our state of delirium, Victoria, Paul, and I came up with a series of hand gestures to communicate with one another. As I am sworn to secrecy, all I can tell you is "LLAP". I tried to get the fam to keep the pimp hand strong, but they weren't feelin it. Fools. At the airport, we dined at Mickey D's. I was excited at the prospect of a McCafe latte and a homestyle chicken biscuit, but the McDonalds at the airport just so happens to specialize in WEAK SAUCE. They denied me my latte, claiming that they do not make lattes (EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE MCCAFE ADS UP WITH DELICIOUS STEAMING LATTES). I settled for an iced coffee, but then unwrapped my homestyle chicken biscuit to find the sorriest excuse for homestyle chicken I have ever encountered in my life. Fail. So it was not even worth the standard post-McDonalds nausea. Double fail. At the airport, I rocked the skinny jeans/ hiking boots look in preparation for my homecoming Central America (I have a rep to uphold. duh.). Victoria was relentless, obvi this stemmed from her jealousy. Understandable. On the plane, I had a 3-hour discussion with Jason. It began with intensely scrutinizing all available Sky Mall products. He also understood the art of keeping the pimp hand strong, and so we bonded. Obvi. We had a few rousing rounds of would you rather (which ended abruptly with my morbid death-by-aeration-shoes jokes) and diagrammed a movie genre spectrum, then had our aisle-mates vote on who had the better spectrum. I obviously won; everyone agreed that my spectrum was infinitely more logical than Jason's. We also discussed the beauty of clouds (Jason is freaking obsessed), then Jason quizzed me on pilot/ flying things and critiqued the entirety of my itunes library. By the time we'd landed, I had acquired epically large pit stains, on account of the 102 degree cabin temperature. I changed my shirt, only to sit on a bus for another 3 hours or whatever it was. Upon boarding the bus, we were fed none other than MORE MCDONALDS. yikes. Victoria and I sat together on the bus, and performed a singing/ dancing rendition of Jai Ho for our fellow travelers. I managed to fall asleep with my neck at a 90 degree angle for a while, so that was cool. We made it to our lodgings at Casa del Rey by late afternoon, where we were greeted with papaya juice and an abundance of bagged water (mi favorito). We got our sweet room keys with wooden face masks as keychains, and made our way to the cuartos. I was in 209 with Victoria, Emily, and Mallory, making me their fearless and impossibly responsible leader. We had some time to kill before dinner, so I led my minions to the room for naptime. For dinner, we had fish, mashed potatoes, veggies, sopa, and rolls. Delish, as usual. Thomas hooks us up. After dinner, we had devos then pb&j krewe. JLo and I were in charge of all things pb&j. Appropriate, seeing as both of us are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with peanut butter. So we elected the chosen few, and busted out 88 pb&j sandwiches (of three various strawberry/grape white/wheat combos) in 20 minutes. Then we opened the doors for the stampede, and everyone ran through to grab their sandwiches, chips, and cookies. And guess what cookies they had--CHIKYS!!! C rica what whaaat! Holler. After pb&j we got a big group to play charades (pronounced sh-rahh-ds). All you need to know about this game is that it is AWESOME and that I am AWESOME at it. Duh. Victoria and I were partners, and were dominating until we got a noise complaint and had to peace out. Boo. Then bedtime.

peace love and mcfail.

live long and prosper.

2009-05-31T23:25:00.002-04:00

greetings blogsphere.

Just watched the MTV movie awards. Here are my thoughts:

Andy Samberg is a g.
Megan Fox hasn't showered in weeks.
Bruno should fear for his life because Marshall Mathers is apparently not a fan of getting teabagged. Who knew?
Leighton Meester and Lil Wayne are the id. If I were receiving a golden popcorn, that would be my ideal giver of golden popcorn couple. Appropriate that Miley was on the receiving end. If it can't be me, she's up there on the next best thing list.
Kristin Stewart and Robert Pattinson should stop talking. Just stand still, look pretty. I think it'd be best to only speak when Stephanie Meyers provides you with words to say. ONLY then.
Zac Efron desperately needs a haircut.
Lady Gaga wasn't there. Wtf.

Overall the show was weak sauce. For those who missed it, the winner was Twilight.

In other news, summertime in Athens has been the shiz. 1979 (the house) is one of the greatest things that has happened to my life. I love living here. I love my room, I love my roomies. I love our baby pool and our beerpong table. I love our kitchen and our back porch. I love our beer fridge and that we live in a house of mirrors. I love sunbathing in the backyard and watching it's always sunny in philadelphia for hours at a time. Yeah. Welcome to the good life.

I am a twat who tweets on twitter. I read an article about how Twitter is for the narcissistic, a website completely devoted to self-indulgence, and I was convinced that I belonged in such a community. Thus far I have found it to be mildly entertaining, a welcomed addition to my crackberrys bookmarks, but I don't have enough real friends on it to get too into it. I'm one of those freaks whose 'is following' count greatly exceeds the 'followers' count. I make no apologies for my creeper tendencies.

I cannot wait for The Hangover to come out!! I died when I saw the preview for the first time. I've actually been watching a lot of movies lately, which is weird for me (Ali you should be so proud). I have loved all of them. I would highly recommend any and all of these titles: Zack and Miri Make A Porno (I laughed, I cried, I just about vomited when the girl "frosted" the cameraman's face..), House Bunny (the eyes are the nipples of the face), Star Trek (I am in love with Captain James Kirk--obvi, young Spock, Bones, and Chekov. There wasn't a dull moment in the 127 minutes.), and Terminator Salvation (I was the only girl in the theater, but that left more Christian Bale and Sam Worthington for meee). I also saw Bride Wars, but hated it. It made me so frustrated and annoyed..ugh. And Kate Hudson is one of my all-time faves, but even she was not enough of a redeeming quality to save this movie for me. Boo.

Current Obsessions: anything Adele and Eric Hutchinson, Akon's Beautiful, and I'm On A Boat. Also It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Mini Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwiches with Nutella, sepia photos, and the color yellow.

Yesterday was a good summer day. It consisted of sleeping in, a Wal Mart run (slash new things), pool time, delicious barbecue, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, and beer til I dropped around 4am. Victoria came up for the night, so you really can't go wrong with that. Oh and the cherry on top: busting out the potato gun around 2am. As you can plainly see, it was a very successful day.

UMMMM I'm really tired and really just wanted to share my thoughts about the mtv awards. So g'nite.

peace love and flippie floppies.

kerrypalooza

2009-05-22T14:56:00.004-04:00

WATTUP PARTY PEOPLE

So it's been a while. I'm not going to apologize for this because that's just me. I am erratic with my postings, and I accept this about myself. I certainly hope you can do the same.

The past couple weeks of my life have consisted entirely of living the dream. Nothing more, nothing less.

KERRYPALOOZA

It all began two weeks ago, early Monday morning when I woke up at the ungodly hour of 530am to meet daddy at peachtree dekalb airport for a 630am departure to St Simons Island in the 182. Sadly, the skies were not smiling upon us. They were trying their very best to ruin my life, actually. Forget the 182--a couple of clicks later, I was booked to fly out of Hartsfield Jackson at 10am (ridiculous, I am aware). This left me ample time to grab a Starbucks and sit myself in a prime spot at my gate for people-watching, one of my all-time favorite past times. So take that cloud beeotches.

I landed in Brunswick, GA approximately 50 minutes after takeoff, where Melanie and sweet Anne came and picked me up. I hopped in and we found a DQ with the help of my precious crackberry so that we could buy sweet baby Kerry an ice cream cake with those delicious crumblies all up in it. mmmm. We decided against the cake that had a dead bug on it, and instead opted for the one that said "Happy Birthday Tink". It was a tough call, but I think we made the right choice.

Then we hit the BEACHHH. I was so freaking ready for it, too. I donned my new bikini and ray bans, lathered on some spf, and plopped my butt down in the sand. Glorious. We spent the day reading cosmo, chatting, munching on goldfish, singing, and peeing in the water every so often. The palooza crew consisted of Kerry's forever friends: past roomie (a haire), current roomie (smel--that other cretin in their room doesn't count), future roomie (me), bembry, anne, scott, and amy. We missed the lozano seesters and jamie, but there will be other beach trips. I insist.

the crew: amy, bembry, anne, scott, kerry, me, smel, and alison

Night one we went out for a fancy schmancy dinner for Kerry's birthday. Bembry was obliterated. Appropriate. She had stashed a sizeable amount of vodka in her purse, and made herself a dirty shirley at dinner. Actually it was more of just a dirty. No shirley involved, but I think Gatorade was involved.. Don't worry about it. The dinner was de-freaking-licious. We got this big-ass bowl of salad for the table with all of these delectable dressings, in addition to multiple loaves of "THE BEST FUCKING BREAD EVER BITCHESSS" (-amy). Then came the main course.. Smel and I split the shrimp broccoli alfredo number. So good but struggles to push through after all the salad and bread. Then the waitress brought out a birthday dessert for the birthday princess, which we all shared. Double struggles. Anne and I kept complaining about how our tummies were going to burst, all the while tasting off each other's plates and passing the birthday dessert back and forth. Judge away.

After dinner one car hit the liquor store and the other hit the grocery store to get all the necessities: mini liquor bottles to fill seymour the pinata with, the cheapest flasks of vodka you have please and thank you, cran grape drink of champions, trick birthday candles, and kerry's favorite candies. Then we all met back at the condo and got the partay started. Well, Bembry climbed into bed but we couldn't hold it against her since she'd been downing shots since early afternoon. So we played games, ate lots of ice cream cake, and were just a merry bunch of drunken fools by the time midnight rolled around. Bem reappeared around 12:30 to rally in the name of ice cream cake. Then she went back to bed. A few of us ended up in the pool--some clothed, some not so much, but we all managed to wake up the next morning so I'd say the night was a great success.

here's bembry rallying (12pm).

and here's kerry killing seymour.

The next day the stupid clouds came out to play, so bikinis were out of the question. I ate some delicious barbeque with Kerry, Bembry, and Anne, then me, Kerry, Bembry, and Scott went and played charades on the beach for a while. I freaking love charades. I'm not very good, but I get very into it. After a while we headed back to the condo and got ready for dinner. We went to Brogen's and then to TCBY. deliciousness. No one wanted to party in true palooza fashion on night two, so we stayed up watching True Housewives of Jersey and the New York reunion, then off to bed.

In the morning, I was ready to go. Me, Kerry, Bembry, and Scott (the A-team) hit the beach, equipped with two cases of beer for case race day. Me and Scott versus Kerry and Bembry. You know it's going to be a good day when the first beer is cracked before 10am. The rest of the palooza crew joined us a bit later on, and then we took a group nap. The skim board was busted out at some point, as were extra beers when Scott and I finished dominating the case race. The beauty about case races, as Bembry so wisely pointed out, is that everyone wins in a case race. Truth spoken.

me with the sage.

After napping and burning myself to a crisp, I thought I might should head in. So all except Bem and Kerry headed back to the condo, and Scott and I went and sat by the pool. The pool was disgustingly cold, and so we took a bath. Then Scott broke the soap holder. Buckets of fail. Then everybody got ready for dinner and we headed out for a delicious mexicana feast. 2 pitchers of margaritas, a pitcher of beer, 5 baskets of chips and salsa, and shrimp quesadillas all around. It was SO good. I died. Then we partied like rockstars until we could party no more.

Kerrypalooza = GREAT success.

Thursday morning I got up and packed up my belongings, and then Amy and Scott gave me a ride to the airport. I spent the afternoon in the well celebrating Lisa Theresa's birthday, then back to Hartsfield Jackson to jump on a plane to LAX.

and so began rayban roadtrip..

which will have to wait because I am all storytimed out at the moment.

peace love and shrimp quesadillas

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!

2009-05-22T14:34:00.001-04:00

2009-05-03T00:05:00.002-04:00

greetings.

Charleston was the shiz. As per usual. I was freaking dead tired, but I have a reputation to uphold in chuck town dammit! So we arrived late afternoon and began with a tour for Victoria. Hollis knows everything about anything in Charleston, so that worked out well. Literally the tour guides with the horse-drawn carriages clomped past us echoing the description of the cistern that Hollis had just given us. The tour guides, however, failed to mention that one mustn't cross the cistern lest one has a desire not to graduate on time, and that one ABSOLUTELY MUST have sex on the cistern before graduation. How one is supposed to go about doing both of those I'm not quite sure, but apparently it's the thing to do.

Hollis had us power through all of campus in a matter of hours. Yes, she's a superstar. I know. That left us with a little bit of down time before dinner at Jim N Nicks. Dinner was deliciousss of course. Melanie and I already knew what we were ordering before we even got to Charleston--pork and ribs platter with two sides of mac n cheese [to share]. And extra cheese biscuits. mmmm. For dinner, we pulled Josh and JD away from their studies, Emily and Libby away from the beach, and Kennetta away from her deep depression that was brought about when we left after cup. Partayyy!!! We sat ourselves at the front of the restaurant, next to the giant front windows that are TOO perfect for people-watching. Lucky for us, there was a high school prom last night. So in addition to the normal tourist freaks (think safari hats, floral pants suit, etc.), we had a whole slew of prom frocks to gawk at. Yes. We toyed with the idea of seating all of us on one side of the table, the last supper style, but then decided it might be nice to be able to move our elbows slash breathe..

After dinner JD and Josh were party poopers and returned to the palace. The rest of us were ready to turn our swag on. Well, actually, Melanie and I were working on our 13th wind or so, and were a tad lackluster when the partying talk started up.. but we came around. Like I sad: reputation to uphold. So we all went over to Emily and Libby's house to play some games. We began with this eff the dealer-esque game, then moved on to rhyme or reason. Rhyme or reason was new to me, but we were fast friends.

NOTE TO SELF: burn and kernel do not rhyme. more specifically, kernel cannot be abbreviated to kern. fml.

We danced, we humped, we identified one another's animal alter egos [apparently I am a field mouse].. all-in-all an incredibly successful night. We made it back to Hollis's house, devoured a large pepperoni pizza, then crashed. Ahh sweet king size bed of JD's conception..

This morning we hit up Einstein Bagels for delicious breakfast sandwiches that Big Jim bought for us via Hollis's bobcat bucks or whatever you call them. Thanks Big Jim!! Hollis is a celeb on campus. We walked in, and she immediately found someone she knew and struck up a conversation. Who does that? Hollis does.

After bfast we went to the market, easily one of my favorite Saturday morning activities in life. It's just a big open-air market with tables set up by vendors, like the one in the French Quarter in New Orleans. Vendors of tee shirts, jewelry, sweet water baskets, art, and basically any and every piece of crap knick-knack imaginable. Glorious. I left the market with a new coozie, shot glass, and tank tee. So pleased with all of my purchases. Truly. I also found a birthday present for baby Kerry, and Smel and I found these freaking cute monogram prints for 1979. Yipee!

We returned to the palace after shopping for a couple rounds of Lingo, then went to lunch at 5 loaves, a delicious cafe right by Hollis's house. We did work on various soup and sandwich combinations, and then on the strawberry shortcake and chocolate cake. Sadly, we had to pack up the car and vamos after lunch because Victoria had to be back in Roswell for Donovan's graduation party tonight.

Since being home, I have taken a much-needed shower, had a much-needed Ru San's fix, and posted 2 much-needed fb albums. That is all. I have two finals Monday that I haven't started studying for. Then 2 more Wednesday. Ave Maria.

okay it's 1 am and my small ass bed is calling my name.

PS dear ridley i am so sorry for the dry spell. forgive me?

peace love and kern. el.

rave.rave.rave.

2009-05-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

fact: raving is my destiny.

Last night Pi Phi rented out Level for a reading day eve rave. Level, for those of you who don’t know, is creeper headquarters in downtown Athens. The dance floor is surrounded by mirrored walls, a mini stage, and an upper tier where old men gather to drool over the drunk sorostitutes. Oh and there’s a cage for dancing. Like I said—creeper hq. Upon entry, I reminisced about the last time I’d been on that glorious dance floor of theirs—freshman year Halloween. Ah yes, the glory days of freshman year. All done up in my Indian facepaint and headdress, I had sucked down one of Level’s notorious fish bowls (a generously sized glass fish bowl filled with every clear liquor stocked in the bar, garnished with delicious gummy fishies and a black straw that serves as a siphon), then made my way to the dance floor. Cut to me falling backwards and losing a moccasin. Hot mess party of one? What?

Take away the creepy old men and keep the number of people within the fire code, Level is the shiz. Perfect locale for ravinggg. Between dollar shots at the bar all night long, glow sticks abound, and cascada bumping through the speakers, I was in my element. Seriously I was born for this shit. I have informed the roomies that we are having monthly raves in our new casa. You are all cordially invited.

The pink leggings I rocked? Had those bad boys laying around my room. Same with the rave shades. This might embarrass some, but it’s a source of pride for me. Truly. The bottles of glow paint are new additions to my life, and I have welcomed them with open arms. I will be in full body paint for all monthly raves. That’s a promise. Now I just need a black light and a strobe light.. and a giant fan. Housewarming presents? Quizas?

Yesterday was the last day of classes for the semester. Holler! Liana announced that she will never again be teaching at UGA. Double holler! Scratch that. Triple holler! I had so much crap to do this week, but eff that. I chose to live my life. Monday night I went to the Braves v Cardinals game with Victoria. A family friend gave us her clutch box seat tickets and gold lot parking pass. Too legit to quit. We got pub subs on the way over, then a souvenir cup’s worth of banana split dippin dots at the game. I died. We had this crazy ass usher woman who was prone to screaming and other forms of obnoxiousness. She was ALL about singing take me out to the ballgame, and made sure all of her peeps were all about it too. Truly a treasure of a woman. High point of my night: running into a car. While walking. My knee slammed into the trailer hitch of this truck so loud that people two aisles over in the lot looked up and screamed “DAMN! HEARD THAT ONE!!”. I still can’t figure out how I managed to do that. I wasn’t even texting, just walking. Skillz.

Then Tuesday night I went to the Dave Matthews concert at Verizon. It rocked my world. It was a family affair—Paul got four tickets to the show for his birthday, and gave one to me and one to Victoria because we are awesome. And because his peeps already had tickets, but mostly the awesome factor. Dave was just loving the ATL. He played some of his new stuff. I already love funny the way it is, and cannot wait for spaceman to come out. The best part of the concert was when Dave started dancing. Easily.

So after Tuesday night I kind of had to get my shit together. I had a bio test Wednesday, a French research paper due Thursday, among other such scholastic nonsense.

Wednesday night Ali and I had a two-hour conversation about how we could rule the world if we were Hermione Cullen—the missing link between the wizarding world and vampires. Hear me out: a vampire—impossible speed and beauty, never sleeps, never eats, lives forever, and inevitably has some insanely heightened sense (crossing my fingers for mind reading, but am down with ability to alter the moods of the people around me)—with a wand and a broom. Voldemort couldn’t touch that shit. Nobody could. And how rich would I be if I didn’t drop a cent on food for the rest of my life? And think about all the time I’d have to read and learn new spells if I didn’t sleep. I’d be productive all the time. The world would be my bitch. I was pissed when I woke up Thursday morning and realized I hadn’t been dreaming about Hermione Cullen. Idiot!

And now me Smel and Victoria are in the car on the way to Charleston. Jealous? Yeah. My life is the shit.

sham on.

peace love and raving

2009-04-15T20:37:00.002-04:00

hola hola hola

This weather is giving me whiplash. Forget hypomanic episodes. I don't have time to enjoy the sun between all the tornado warnings and torrential downpours that Athens has been all about lately. Boo! I have failed to dress appropriately every day this week. Go me! I'm either severely overdressed, like yesterday when I was bundled up in rain gear and winter wear in the seventy degree afternoon heat (without ray bans no less). Or today, in shorts and a tee shirt in the winds that were gusting up to 20 this morning when I flew. Fail. Epic fail.

I am so very over this semester. Two and a half weeks of class left. What what. This good news does come with a hefty bit of baggage in the form of finals and papers. But what are you going to do? Unfortunately I'm letting my apathy get the best of me. Yesterday, instead of studying for my quiz in linguistics, I opted to watch an episode of Gossip Girl. Since the quiz was optional, there was no motivation whatsoever for me to exude any effort for it. I mean I guess it would have been nice to drop my lowest quiz grade in exchange for a better one, but I wasn't too concerned. Apparently I was not alone. Crazy professor lady handed out all of the quizzes, and everyone sort of glanced at it and then we all simultaneously stood up and peaced out. The poor girl who sits next to me desperately needed to drop her last quiz grade so she asked crazy professor lady if she was kidding. She wasn't. Whatevs, lesson learned--gossip girl trumps studying and all's well that ends well. Or something.

Big things are happening for the Jennings fam: Victoria got into College of Charleston and Paul got his driver's permit!! Ah! Why are they growing up? It's weird. Family Photo Op--Easter 09:

Sexy. I know.

PS Easter rocked my world. Like really. I started the day with a breakfast of reese's cups and fried eggs and toast. Then after church the madre got to steppin on her feast-preparations. Moms outdid herself--between the best ham of my life, mac n cheese, sweet potatoes, caesar salad, french bread, and that delicious Welch's bubbly that we love so much.. oh my. Food coma shortly ensued in the form of a three hour nap (after 12 hours of sleep the night before. nbd.).

FYI Coldstone came out with cupcakes. Paul Melanie and I tried one this weekend, and if I had to describe it in one word, that word would be LETDOWN. Let me paint a picture for you: The sweet cream cupcake comes in a chocolate shell. Said chocolate shell is filled with a scoop of sweet cream ice cream and about a centimeter-thick slab of dried-up yellow cake. All of this is garnished with a frozen cool whip frosting and two chocolate shaving curls. My favorite part was the chocolate shell.. yeah no good. Plus it's overpriced. Fail.

New obsession: Angel Taylor. Favorite songs are Make Me Believe, Chai Tea Latte, and Epiphany. The CD is called "Love Travels" and it's amazing. Love it. Love her.

I FINALLY saw Slumdog Millionaire (no thanks to Scott) on Friday at the dollar theater in East Cobb. I had to drive through hail and torrential rains to get there, but IT WAS WORTH IT! If you haven't seen it yet you absolutely must. It's so good. I was talking to my dad about it last week at dinner and he said that what he took away from it was that he will never ever go to India. That same night, Tia-ita's fb status was "Just saw Slumdog Millionaire. Gotta say, I've always wanted to go to India. Now I REALLY want to go to India." Ha. Oh, Tia-ita. I'm so freaking excited for our C Rica reunion dinner next week at Deany Weany's house!

Oh and Amy Poehler's new show "Parks and Recreation" sucks a big fat one. So sad. The pilot episode is free on iTunes right now and I watched it on the elliptical today.. I didn't laugh once. Triste.

I'd like to leave you with the poetry of Paul Abdul. Enjoy.

peace love and chai tea lattes

2009-04-09T17:33:00.003-04:00

41: the number of text messages received between 10:30 am monday morning and 7 pm tuesday evening. go me.

So I got the crackberry back. My own, not a new one. AT&T fixed my trackball/ pearl. Daddy said it took them all of 3 seconds to fix the mess I had made. I tried to fix the dang thing for HOURS to no avail. But whatevs. Stella got her groove back.

I slept through Fuad's class this morning. Sad times. I suppose this is my body's way of punishing me for only sleeping for four hours on Sunday and Monday. Sorry, bod. Actually I'm probably only going to get 4 hours tonight. I have a bio test tomorrow and ever since our midterm I have found a new and innovative way to NOT pay attention every single class. One day I skyped with Tommy, my boo francais. Another day I worked on my list of loves and hates to appease the masses slash followers of blog. Yet another day I registered for my classes.. you get the idea. Basically I'm effed.

BIG NEWS: Roxie made her debut today!! For those of you who don't know, Roxie is my totally awesome pink bike with giant retro handlebars. I love her and she loves me and we are in love. I rode her from my house to pi phi today and then back. It went swimmingly if you are wondering. Just swimmingly. She needs a bit of air in her tires and is dying to have a big basket on the front of her, but those were her only complaints. As for me? I had no complaints. When do I ever have complaints??

Oh and also my face is falling off. Seriously I look like two-face. FML. Here's a shot of me taken this afternoon between classes:

Not a big deal. Also take note of my very mournful outfit. Last night, Charlie's alter-ego, Luc, died a horrible and tragic death. Je suis en deuil. Que son ame repose en paix. Bises, Luc.

And in conclusion I freaking love crosswords.

Fin.

peace love and contraband quesadillas.

on being without crackberry.

2009-04-07T12:44:00.007-04:00

I have been without crackberry for 33 hours. And counting.

I was trying to compose a detailed discourse in my head about how being without my precious crackberry has ruined my life, but I'm afraid 33 hours has not been long enough to see its true effects. Actually, even the time spent with dysfunctional crackberry was painless.

Starting Thursday, whilst texting Charlie in the rain, the trackball/ pearl of the crackberry ceased to function. Without the pearl, I cannot scroll and therefore (so I thought) cannot do anything outside of calling people on my phone (calling? on a phone?? THATS IT????? blasphemy--I know). I suppressed the panic attack forming in the pit of my stomach as I went on my errands, all the while frantically moving the ball as fast as I could to try and shake it of its illness. I asked employees at both Target and Office Max to take a look at it for me, but no one could help. Over the course of the hour and a half of first being without pearl capabilities, I had already accumulated four text messages and was beside myself with frustration at being unable to read them. I ended up having to CALL 411 (who does that anymore?) to find an AT&T because tomtom was being an id and not helping me in my time of need. The woman at the AT&T store said that I just had to call a number and they would send me a new phone asap. The heavens opened up atop my angelic head to shed light upon me as the heavenly choir started up with the hallelujahs. I giddily skipped back to my car, calling the holder of my AT&T account (also known as daddy) to give him the number to call. In my elated state, I proceeded to pick apart my phone. Even as I was taking it apart, I was asking myself in my head what the hell I thought I was doing, because there was no effing way that I would ever ever be able to repair a dysfunctional piece of technology. Before I knew it, the phone was broken beyond recognition and I was left with a quarter inch hole where my pearl used to be. I know what you're thinking: bad omen. I thought so too, but dear friends hear the good news--we thought wrong!

Here's the thing--I am scrappy. I figured out how to maneuver the crackberry without a pearl. So I really wasn't handicapped at all. Go me.

Here's another thing--tech's pike formal was this weekend. I freaking LOVE formals. It is my goal in college to attend a formal every year. I'm doing well thus far. Basically it's a weekend vacay with a temporary sugar daddy. What's not to love? Free food, free alcohol, free hotel room, someone else drives my butt to the beach.. Seriously. Viva la freaking vida. Not even a dysfunctional crackberry could bring me down from a formal high. [[see fb albums]]

Oh and one other thing. I am one of the luckiest people I know. Let me recount the ridiculousness that has been today:

After the second night in a row with only four hours of sleep, I woke up this morning to hurry up and do my quia homework that was due today (for those of you who have taken language classes at the prestigious university of georgia you know that quia is busy work in the form of cruel and unusual punishment). So I finish quia only to realize that it's already 7 and I would much rather make myself a delicious spinach omelet than bother with doing the rest of my Spanish homework. The rest of my Spanish homework happened to include studying for a quiz that we had today, but I figured I'd just quickly look over the vocab and such before we started the quiz in class. So I take my time with breakfast and don't bother showering (any excuse not to shower!) before walking out into the FREEZING weather to make it to Fuad for 8am. I decide to take a risk and park downtown in a bank parking lot instead of waiting for the bus in the cold, and then walk over to Gilbert. I walk in a couple of minutes late, and everyone is already taking the quiz. Eff. I had no choice but to wing it. So I manage to get through it and he grades them right away. I got a 19 out of 20. Then he instructs us to write a brief summary of the reading that we were supposed to have done today on the back of the quiz. If you recall, I chose omelet over reading, and had not the slightest idea of what the reading was on. I overhear someone whisper "recycling," and scribble down a few sentences about how awesome the reading about recycling was because I love the environment and it had a lot of vocabulary to help me talk about my passion. Fuad added a bonus point to my quiz, and so I got a 100. Then I walked back to my car and was pleased to see a distinct lack of a yellow parking ticket on my windshield. I came home and passed out for three hours, decidedly skipping my stupid linguistics class, and then got ready for my lab at 2:30. I was running late somehow, and so I parked in a residential parking lot that had all of its spots numbered. Probably not the best idea, but again I came back to my car to find I had evaded yet another potential parking ticket. AND we got out of bio lab early for the second week in a row.

So there you have it. I'm scrappy. I had formal to distract me. I'm lucky. These three critical components in my life, and these three alone, have saved me from absolutely losing my mind since the crackberry failed me on that fateful afternoon. Especially since daddy took the crackberry away from me yesterday morning at 10am to go and get me a new one.

Fear not. I shan't be incomplete for much longer. Daddy's bringing my baby back to me at 7pm.

In other news, Jamie's birthday was yesterday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROOMS!). We went to speakeasy for dinner and it was de-freaking-licious. I feasted on gruyere fondue, spinach dip in a honey wheat bread bowl, calamari, crab cakes, and some of smel's white pizza. Oh and a dairy queen ice cream cake with the most wonderful crumbly bits I've ever had in my life. Scratch that. DQ crumbly bits ARE my life. Food baby was alive and well but I did not even care. It was incredible. Charlie I'm taking you to speakeasy when you come visit me this summer. You will love it.

Also Liana (stone cold bitch french professor) is a feminist. She would be. Do you know what that awful woman wrote on my homework assignment? Homework, mind you--not a paper or anything, just a stupid homework. I had written "he thought in his head..." and she circled it and made this big note off to the side that said "where else would he think? in his stomach? in his feet???" Then gave me a B-. BITCH!! I can not wait to purge her from my MWF schedule. Slash from my life.

Countdown to 1979: one month 9 days. EEEEEEEEE

Also I converted Patrick (flight instructor) and John (works at flight school) to Lady Gaga fans. We spent Monday morning watching her music videos and discussing her hatred of pants (slash love of jeweled panties). Patrick is obsessed with the zipper on the face thing she rocked on American Idol. Personally, I'm just obsessed with her.

daddy i'm so sorry i'm so s-s-sorry yeah. we just like to party like to p-p-party yeah.

Apparently there is a handicap bus that takes you to your classes if you are crippled (UGA's version of Southern Cal's valet service provided to their students). Jesse and I have a date for him to break my leg in the near future so that I can take full advantage of this amenity! I'm also hoping to score a wheelchair. An electric one--obvi.

I'm burnt to a crisp after epically failing to apply sunscreen on Saturday and the erratic weather is giving my face a gill-like complexion. Super attractive. Sigh. I should go re-apply lotion to my entire freaking body..

peace love and failblog.

2009-04-01T13:43:00.006-04:00

Sweet baby Kerry gave me this idea.. I made a list of the things I love the most and the things I hate the most in life. I encourage you to make one of your own--it's very therapeutic.

LOVES:

blogging. my birthday. baby kerry's funfetti cupcakes. my tiara. my cowboy boots. texting. crossword puzzles. diet coke. sushi. braves games. nail polish. karaoke. football games. presents. headbands. flying. traveling. speaking in different languages. edward. ostriches. carolina cup. disney. being a princess. red wine. ben and jerrys. dresses. rainbows. skinny jeans. photography. pura vida. lady gaga. my ray bands. amelie. foreign films. cheese. queso dip. tom tom. people watching. airports. frostys. starbucks. costa rican coffee. naps. new orleans. cafe du monde. seafood. perez. magazines. big sunglasses. pedicures. gossip girl. peanut butter. pink. victoria's secret. my crackberry. easy mac. fuad. uga. college. homestyle popcorn. skype. mac. books. endorphins. cookie dough. pina. one tree hill. abreevs. the north face. bikinis. coloring. laughing. a good cleansing cry. strapless dresses. free people. the olsen twins. bcbg. nicole richie. blair woldorf. puppies. sunning. fresca. nachos. dress up. the beach. skype. feather pillows. movies. target. mens vneck undershirts. princess by vera wang. my nose piercing. my tattoo. bubble baths. andre. 1979 s lumpkin. eggs benedict. hogwarts.

HATES:

awkward small talk. automatic capitalization. whiskey. when things don't go my way. flat tires. kitten heels. orange juice pulp. bottled water. nonfat cream cheese. april fools day. caffeine headaches. sleep deprivation. rumplestiltskin pimples. paying for things. feeling rushed. wasabi. cigarettes. valentines day heart candy. pickles on hamburgers and chic-fil-a sandwiches. pepsi. georgina sparks. dolores jane umbridge. cats (except for sullivan). wet socks. standing up for extended periods of time. hot topic. fox news. ann coulter. divorce. emo-ness. people who try to thrust their own views upon you. negativity. lol. missing the mil bus by less than 1 minute. budgets. cotton candy. pink wine. the new facebook. next. room raiders. parental control. idiot drivers. the way bologna is spelt. nudge from star 94. chain emails. name-sharers that don't have the "h" at the end of their name. losing things. bad water pressure in the shower. nightmares.

to be continued.

Cup Lovin

2009-03-30T11:27:00.007-04:00

Hello friends.

New obsession: Carolina Cup.

After a grueling week of hellish scholastic activities, a weekend of debauchery was much-needed. And Cup was EXACTLY what I needed. Smel and I loaded up the Jeep on a gross and rainy Friday afternoon and let Tom Tom lead the way to our own personal utopia: Charleston, SC. Four and a half hours of my recently-played list and 2 McCafe iced coffees later, we found ourselves in glorious Chuck. Before we even got in the car, I knew that I wanted Jim N Nicks upon arrival. Probably one of the best decisions I have made in some time. Smel and I stopped in Hollis's mansion of a house to freshen up then headed to the main strip for some de-freaking-licious barbecue. Oh em geeeee it was so freaking good. We feasted on the cheesy corn muffins, ribs, pork, mac n cheese, and fries. Ah. Seriously I'm salivating just thinking about it. So then we walked around trying to rid ourselves of our newly-acquired food babies (to no avail) and fawned over all of the amazing shopping that Charleston has to offer. Melanie freaked out every time we walked past Urban all weekend. We never even made it inside.. sad times. But then we made our way back to the mansion and waited for Holly Wolly and JD to get home from JD's mom's birthday dinner. They got back around 10, and at that point told us we had to leave the house by 6am the next morning. So it only made sense for us to make a date for murder ball at 5am.

You know it's going to be a good day when you are throwing back shots before 6am. And so the debauchery began.. JD gave us a weather forecast by likening the day ahead to "The Perfect Storm." Apparently the storm that we were about to spend the day in under a tent had already knocked down a church. NBD.

We made our way to the Pi Kapp house at 6:30, stopping by Starbucks only to see that it was closed and that we would be going without breakfast. Unless Andre counts as breakfast. Hol, Mel, and I sipped on Andre til we could drown out the Zetas that were on our bus. Dear lord Zetas at Charleston are like sorositutes on steroids. I could not handle it. All day we entertained fantasies of tasering them just to make them stop talking. Days like that make me so so glad to not be in a sorority. The 2-hour busride to Cup was tolerable (thank you Andre). I might even go so far as to say enjoyable. We made friends with Hollis's besties Emily and Libby, and passed the time by shit-talking everyone else on the bus. Freaking love them.

yay for new friends

Upon arrival at Cup, it was clear that every charter bus had brought its very own variety of shitshow to form the grandest shitshow that ever was. We stumbled across the muddy field until we found our tent, where we set up camp. Over the course of the day, the perfect storm came and went and came again so we spent most of our time under our tent laughing at all of the drunkasses that we were surrounded by. We were front row, so we did manage to make our way over to the fence to see a few of the horse races. I cheered my ass off for Red Lightning, only to be told on the bus ride home that Red Lightning was not an actual horse. FML. I made lots of new friends, and even managed to find myself some delicious bbq from some rando tent. Well, I found the food, but I didn't actually walk away with any. I was THAT girl...

spotted: drunkass mess of a girl stumbles up to stranger's tent and grabs a plate from the buffet line and piles it up with pork, beans, coleslaw, and roll. she then proceeds to grab a sweet tea and somehow manages to trip over her own two feet and spill the entire plate of food all over the ground. just the food, though. she is still grasping the plate and her sweet tea. she ditches the plate, then stumbles away with her friend who managed to hang onto all of her food.

Yeah. I was definitely that girl. I'm laughing just replaying it my head again.

I sent Libby and Emily back for more, though, and ended up feasting despite my epic failure.

Other highlights of the day included watching girls eat shit in the mud, watching Whitney spill her drink every 5 minutes, finding some poor girl's id in the mud so Hollis can replace her 35-year old one (yay Emily), and our quest for the best outfit of the day. I believe the winner was the gentleman in the neon yellow pants.. but then there was also Dale in the white pants that were see-through before it started raining.. Gosh it was too hard to decide there were so many winners. Yay for cupperware.

Libby after eating shit in the mud.

Around 4 we called it a day and trekked back to our ghetto ass charter buses. Well, most of us anyways. Apparently one of my fave sorostitutes managed to bum a ride with her drunk ex-boyfriend who has a restraining order against her. Oh Brittany.. Also, my new friend Joshua who fed me shots of Grey Goose did not make it back to the bus. Apparently, he was threatening to beat up some of his brothers and to kill the prez's dog.. Yikes. His date was on the bus though. She was the most Lilly'd out of all the sorostitues. Homegirl had a Lilly Pulitzer water bottle. Yay for her.

Pam, our crazy driver, manages to get the bus out of the parking lot but then immediately has to find somewhere to get transmission fluid for the bus. Then we get back on the road and after about 20 minutes the other bus broke down. So we had to go back and get all of the rest of our peeps onto our bus. By the time we'd left the broken down bus site, that had already put us at 5:00. We should have been halfway back. No, no. We were pretty much right where we'd begun.. So we're driving for about an hour when Pam comes on the intercom and informs us that she forgot to lock up the other bus so we have to go back. LOVE LIFE. Oh and as if that weren't miserable enough, while all this was happening I was trying so so hard to get a little nap in. Just as I'd gotten comfortable and closed my eyes, drunk frat boy #1 whispers ever so sweetly in my ear, "Sarah, you are passed out. I like your nose ring. You look cute passed out. Watch out for John Pratt." So much for sleeping! I was freaking out but didn't want John Pratt to think I was awake and come talk to me.. so I spent like 2 hours with my eyes closed pretending to sleep.

SIX HOURS LATER we are back in Charleston. I am hungover and unhappy and the perfect storm is upon us. The cherry on the cake--a car splashed water all over me on our walk home. REALLY??

Thank goodness for LaHa. Let me tell you Diet Coke saved my life on Saturday night. Seriously. I really was on the verge of vomiting when we sat down at dinner. I was looking SO good, too in my rain boots and hoodie. I did not take the hood of my hoodie off my head because I am a g. So yes I was really thinking I was going to vom and my head was throbbing and I wanted to curl up and die, but one sip of Diet Coke and I was good to go. Unfortunately, the delicious mexican feast had the opposite effect on mis amigas. Emily felt like death and needed to get home asap so we didn't go clubbin like we'd planned. Triste.

Then Kyle came to visit!! So great. Him and his friend Dan were on their way home from sb in Florida so they came over and so did my most favorite person in the world--KENNETTA MERRITT!!! I'm obsessed with her. You can see why:

We stayed up until we all passed the f out.

All in all I'd have to say AMAZINGGGG day. Followed by Brugger's bagel sandwiches in the morning. Ahh so deliciousssss. Really I don't think I could have asked for a better weekend.

Also you all should know that I rated Fuad on ratemyprofessor.com. Try and guess which one is mine. Ha. PS I tried to give him hotness points but it didn't register for some unknown reason. Idiots.

That's all for now.

peace love and cup.

2009-03-25T21:22:00.002-04:00

Dear World,

A gift from the gods.

That is all.

2009-03-24T20:44:00.003-04:00

Wattup peeps

First of all I'd just like to update the status of my sugar daddy quest--the position is only temporarily available. As soon as Charlie gets his shiz together and makes millions, he will take the position. Sorry to disappoint, boys.

So I'm back home in the well chillin with the fam. You should all be insanely jealous because my family is the shit. Seriously. Me Victoria and the moms just took a dip in the hot tub to celebrate the new bathing suit that mom got me. We blared Victoria's iPod and talked and laughed until our eyes couldn't stand the burn from the chlorine any longer. Before that we had a nice family feast. The four of us devoured a pork tenderloin and the moms and I took care of a bottle of delicious red wine. Mmm. Basically dinner consisted of Victoria making fun of all of us and us all cracking up. Good times. I got ragged on for my hyena laugh (old news) and for being a bitch (also old news), but most of all I got ragged on for getting everything I want whenever I want it. Victoria FREAKED out because my mom said I could get a new laptop (eee heeeee). She proceeded to contort her ears and used her hoop earrings to hold them into their grotesque position. Me Paul and mom told her that it was gross and to stop and she screamed NOT UNTIL YOU TELL SARAH THAT SHE CANNOT HAVE WHATEVER SHE WANTS WHENEVER SHE WANTS IT!!! Um can you say jealousy? Mom obeyed and gave me the wink.

Tonight I was asked to prom. Go me...

I am OBSESSED with Soulja Boy's Kiss Me Thru The Phone. I bought it this morning and listened to it for an hour straight, then paused for classes but put that shit right back on for my entire drive from Athens to Roswell. And yes I am listening to it right now.

SIX SEVEN EIGHT TRIPLE NINE EIGHT TWO ONE TWOOOOOO

I just can't get enough.

This morning I had a Spanish test at 8am. I set my alarm for 5am to get up and study. I woke up at 8:05 when my roomie opened my door to see why I hadn't already left for class. I screamed FUCKKKK. Fast-forward 5 minutes later--we are in Ali's car rocking out to Asher Roth's "I Love College". Fast-forward once more to 8:15, when I strolled into Spanish looking a HOT mess. Probably something like this:

Sweet Fuad (who has given many a student hell over being late to class) greeted me with, "Buenos dias, Saraita!" and a wink. Didn't I tell you that we are in love? The test didn't start til 8:25 so all I had missed was him going over the homework that I didn't do. Seriously I love life.

After Spanish I braved the Family Housing bus because Ali says it takes her right by the house. FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER I arrive back home. Besides, Family Housing attracts the strangest crowd. I counted 30 dining hall staff members!! It was like a big dining hall people hang out. F that. I will drive my car to pi phi thank you very much and hop my butt on the Mil Bus.

Oh and I found out that I passed my bio midterm! HOO-RAH. So now I can fully enjoy my hypomanic episodes. I'm pretty sure I was still deep into my episode this morning when I was rocking out to Asher Roth instead of some last-minute cramming or even stressing about being late.. but I think it faded over the course of the day. I'm not saying that Wiki lied to me, I'm just saying that I am special and my episodes only last a day and a half. Not my fault though because the stupid clouds decided to show up while I was locked up in the SLC for Linguistics. Awful timing, too, because then I didn't get to have my unwavering euphoria for stupid bio lab. Ughhhhhhhh come back to me hypomanic episode!! Come backkkkk

That is all for now.

You ARE the weakest link. GOODBYE.

peace love and 6789998212

2009-03-23T18:40:00.002-04:00

to my number one creeper fan: quit sippin on that haterade.

It was freaking BEAUTIFUL out today. So beautiful, in fact, that I had an episode. A hypomanic episode to be exact. You see, as a victim of hypomania, my mood is severely influenced by beautiful weather. My hypomanic episode consists of euphoria, a flood of ideas, attention deficiency, and inflated self-esteem. This would all be fine, aside from the fact that my biology midterm was this afternoon. In my euphoric state, I felt no need to study, and my inflated self-esteem assured me that I was good to go. Instead of spending the morning studying as I had intended to, I went out to lunch with sweet baby Kerry and fulfilled the Willy's craving that came over me last night. And dios mios was it delicious!! I got a burrito in a bowl. Best thing EVERRR! It's like all the goodness of nacho toppings slash burrito innards with delicious chips on the side. SO your chips don't get soggy like they would with nachos and you can evenly distribute deliciousness on each chip which you cannot do with burrito bites. But I digress.

So I got to my bio midterm all happy go lucky, aware of my scanty knowledge of the material and yet not at all worried. I sat down with my scantron and felt no nerves whatsoever, then a test was passed to me and I began. I remember sitting there bubbling in my scantron without a care in the world--guessing every so often without the slightest clue as to whether or not my response was even an educated guess. I finished up and didn't bother looking over my answers, sure that I'd done well enough. I turned in my test with a big dopey smile spread across my face and just about skipped out of the lecture hall. I damn near skipped my last class so I could soak up the sun and people watch on north campus, but somehow I made my way to Caldwell and sat through an hour of nonsensical discussion about Dreaming in Cuban. At least in my head it was nonsensical--I had about a million different thoughts racing through my head at once. I pulled up like 5 different windows on Safari, while texting 3 different people and keeping up with our small group discussion of the novel.

My euphoria and ego boost and ADD have continued on in that way all day. Now that the sun is setting I think I might be calming down, but then again Wikipedia says these episodes last 4 days. And I don't care what anyone says--Wikipedia never lies.

This weekend Smel and I are driving up to Charleston to meet up with Holly Berry and go to Carolina Cup! I cannot wait!!! It's the light at the end of the tunnel that is this week. Tomorrow morning at 8 am I will be taking a Spanish exam with sweet Fuad, then Thursday a Linguistics test with my freak professor woman, and Friday we have a French paper due. Vom. I'm so over this semester. Except for my life will be void of meaning without seeing Fuad every Tuesday and Thursday at 8 am. I don't want to talk about it.

GREAT NEWS! 11 months and 3 days until I turn 21.

Our back porch furniture is currently housing every wasp and giant mutant bee in Athens. We have just about gone through 18 ounces of Raid trying to discourage the new hang out spot. Struggles. Today in battle Steen threw our entire screen door on top of one of the mutant bees. Valiant Ali opened up the table umbrella for easier access to their humble abode. We are the masters of our domain. TAKE THAT SUCKAAAS

As sweet Kerry so perceptively pointed out, yesterday's urbandictionary Word of the Day epitomizes me. Bitchassness: a term coined by Diddy on Making the Band. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking you're better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shade.

In my bio class we were talking about a gene mutation that makes your pee turn purple or black with oxidation. Even if you have it, you would never know because we never pee in a cup and let it sit out til it turns colors. Meems and I have decided to take on this feat for the benefit of the world and for our own personal knowledge. I will let you know the results when we find them. However, I just stumbled upon a website that instructs you on how to induce peeing colors of the rainbow. Read up! But please don't try any of them because most of them are medical conditions...

Okay it's time for my Skype date with Tommy.

peace love and tipper love

2009-03-22T12:45:00.002-04:00

You guys I feel pretty terrible about leaving you hanging for almost an entire month.

Currently our home is without internet. I'm sitting at the SLC (aka MLC for uga newbies and other such losers) with the intent of studying for my bio midterm tomorrow but the unadulterated availability of internet should not be wasted on stupid biology! Sweet sweet internet. Swoon.

Sadly the new facebook layout is the worst thing that's ever happened in the history of facebook. Yes--including facebook chat. It's like the generic brand of Twitter. Pathetic, really. I don't even like the real Twitter much less some knockoff shiz. So that really deters my favorite pastime that is facebook stalking. No worries. I have many other ways to completely piss away my life with the internet. Obvi there is perez, youtube, FML, overheard in athens, Skype, other blogs, etc. Kittens Inspired by Kittens is my current favorite youtube video. "IM HER MOM! NO SHES NOT!" "I have to go potty... PSSSSSSSS" Classic.

My obsession with Lady Gaga lives on. She's amazing. I saw a clip of her concert on perez and am DYING to go. Ah love her love her love her.

Twilight came out on DVD this weekend. Melanie is a goddess and went and bought the three disc set and brought it to me to pull me out of my morning-after funk yesterday. Nothing like a good dose of Edward to make your problems disappear. There is no other man that can make me forget about a lost Coach wristlet chock full of my most prized possessions--debit card, fake id, regular id, and burt's--except for Edward. Yes. I was that girl on Friday night. Deepest apologies to the world for the mess I was on Friday. As my mother so eloquently put it, "Wow Sarah you must have been really shitfaced." Yes mother dearest I'd have to agree. I held my head high as I walked into Generals in search of the lost wallet last night and had to respond "I don't remember" to all of the questions the bartenders asked. Struggles. They didn't have it, but after dinner I got a fb message from my new most favorite person in the world saying she found it on a couch at Delta Sig and hid it so no one would steal it! OH HAPPY DAY! Love life. Love Madeline.

Last night was Melanie's birthday party. Great night. Unlike Friday which was a terrible night. Here are some ways that I am able to distinguish between the two:

On Saturday morning I woke up at a dirty frat house without the slightest recollection of anything past 11pm the night before. Panic attack ensued shortly thereafter but I quickly calmed myself down for fear my head was going to explode. This morning I woke up under a down comforter in a clean and quiet sorority house without the slightest inkling of a hangover. Or a panic attack.
On Saturday morning I found scratches all over my legs. Apparently I fell. A lot. On Sunday morning I woke up and was still scratched and bruised from Saturday but I'm pretty sure I don't have any new battle wounds. Yay me.
On Saturday morning I woke up and had to bail on Cayms for yoga because I was still drunk. On Sunday morning I had no plans but if I did I wouldn't have cancelled them.
On Saturday morning the thought of food made me want to vomit. On Sunday morning I had a delicious chicken biscuit and iced coffee from McDonalds. Did not vomit.
On Saturday morning I woke up and realized I had lost my wallet. My priorities were definitely in order though because my crackberry was snuggled up right next to me on the bed. On Sunday morning my wallet was sitting on the headboard. Right next to the crackberry.
On Saturday I was unable to function for the majority of the day. I spent my time rejuvenating myself knowing that I'd be expected to throw down for smel's bday. Today I am still not functioning in a very productive sort of way, but it's not for the lack of ability.

The only confusing element would be the fact that I woke up in all of my own clothes on Saturday morning (generally the sign of a successful night). This morning, however, I woke up in a boy's sweatshirt and another boy's driving moccassins. I left my own shoes, jacket, purse, keys, and other random articles of clothing that I had in my purse at yousef's house. However, when looking at all of the data as a whole I am able to definitively rule out this last factor and conclude that indeed Friday was a bad night and Saturday was a good night.

Okay I told some girl I'd go find her in the SLC and study with her for bio like 30 minutes ago. I should probably go ahead and find her. I promise to update again soon though. Love you all.

peace love and .com

Sugar Daddy Wanted, Apply Within.

2009-03-22T12:31:00.002-04:00

LOADED MAN-BOY WANTED.

Pretty college girl in Athens is looking for a wealthy man-boy between the ages of 21 and 30 to be her sugar daddy. I party like a rockstar and need someone who can keep up. I am proficient in conversational French and Spanish and can fly planes. I like dancing, traveling, and the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Man-boy must love sushi and be healthy and rich. Royalty is a plus.

2009-02-25T11:05:00.002-05:00

hello world.

I decided to give up on my francais devoirs and devote myself to a quality post instead. You are welcome.

So lent starts today.. I actually kind of hate Ash Wednesday because I have always been that idiot girl that tells people they have something on their forehead, thinking I am being a good person because no one else will tell the poor girl that she has black crap all across her face. Sigh. I never learn, either. I'm pretty sure I have managed to do that every year of my education career. I just don't respond well to things being out of context. I am much better at life when I know what to expect and where to expect it. If I sat in church all day I wouldn't be motioning to people to wipe their forehead. I mean I like to think so at least. I am also not a fan of surprises. Take note.

So lent. It always sneaks up on me. Now it's the start and I have no idea what the heck to give up. Yesterday I was running ideas by Abby.. it went something like this:

Abby: "Ali is giving up sweets and soda. Wouldn't it be cool if all four of us [roomies] gave up sweets together?"

Me: "F that."

Abby: "Well I'm giving up milk chocolate. It's going to be rough because that's what's in baked goodies and most candy, you know?"

Me: "Wow yeah I definitely can't do that. What if I gave up texting?"

Abby: (hysterical laughter) "YEAH RIGHT!"

Me: "Okay okay you're right.. what about.. no, no. I couldn't do that. Or.. no. There's no way. Uhh Lean Cuisines?"

Abby: ...

Me: "You're right. That's lame. Crap. I give up."

So I am still without something to give up for lent. Kerry and I toyed with the idea of giving up Amy McCoy. I would miss her entirely too much though. I need some ideas, peeps. ASAP.

Last night I went to Roswell for a Nagoya birthday fix. It was incredible. The only problem was that stupid Paul is still in a stupid growth spurt and was inhaling MY sushi. We ordered 6 rolls. AND sashimi. AND edamame. For four of us. Paul was still hungry. We usually try to fill him with fried rice before the sushi comes out so that we are on a level playing field, but in all of the birthday excitement we forgot. F our lives.

Yesterday in Spanish Fuad winked at me and called me Sarah-ita again. I died. He also busted out with a little salsa action, and unnamed certified d bag goes "GET IT FUAD!" Fuad replied that salsa is his specialty and that he cannot wait to bring the ipod and teach us all his moves. I'm pumped. Fuad also kicked over some girl's coffee this morning, and then ran out of the class to get paper towels, then gave the paper towels to the girl and made her clean it up. bahahaha I was cracking up long after everyone else had finished with their inaudible chuckles. Embarrassing.

Last night Victoria revived my love for Bon Qui Qui. Girl I will CUT you.

My birthday is TOMORROW. I cannot wait. Here are a few reasons why February 26 is the best day of the year:

I get to wear my tiara.
Hollis and Jenny are coming.
I get to be as narcissistic as I please (Melanie would argue "as opposed to the days that you aren't??")
I get to stuff my face with Agua Linda for lunch. While wearing a giant pink sombrero.
I get to stuff my face with Shokitini sushi. While wearing my tiara.
Karaoke.
Cake.
Dranks. Fo free.
New dresses.
Photo shoots.

EEEEEEEEE

okay f I have to go to french.

deuces.

2009-02-15T16:17:00.003-05:00

So as it turns out I am the worst valentine the world has ever known. Here are the top five reasons why I was able to definitively come to this conclusion:

My being a texting whore. Between the hours of 9pm and 2am there are a total of 187 text messages that were both sent and received on my crackberry. one. hundred. eighty. seven. This may have taken a slight toll on the face time actually spent with my valentine.
My sketchiness. I managed to sketch off about once an hour on average probably. Lie. Probably more. This is a rather difficult feat when 2 of those hours were spent in the relatively small area of a fraternity house, but that did not stop me. Nope. I have sketching skillz.
I am coming to find that I have this terrible habit of getting really sulky when things do not go my way. Like yesterday, for example, when I went out to lunch with the future roomies and I wanted delicious queso from Agua Linda. Kerry shot me down, and we ended up at stupid Inoko Express. I wanted to vomit. I refused to order anything and pouted as I sipped on my [overpriced] Diet Coke. I wear my emotions on my face right where everyone can see them, so the rooms all knew that I was down but could not figure out why. I realized it was because things had not gone my way and felt ridiculous. So I'm working on that.. starting today I suppose. Last night I wanted to stop by a party before heading dt, then got pissed when it became apparent to me that that was not going to happen. Then every time I suggested a bar dt, I was shot down. I am not so much a fan of being shot down. I despise it, actually. Loathe it entirely.
My severe lack of class. Between downing a bottle of wine and dancing on tables at Bourbon, it was not a classy night for the princess. To say the least.
I walked away from my valentine at the end of the evening with another boy without saying anything. Then found my own ride to my own home.

Sigh. Well at least it's over. Sorry valentine!

I have a new favorite website: fmylife.com.

Here are a few of my favorite FML stories:

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria's Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told him in a seductive, playful tone "you can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum." He said "No I only have three more" and left the room. FML.
Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people were walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML.
Today my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd like to." FML.
Today my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML.
Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray hairs leading from the sandwich to my mouth. FML.
Today I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to girl?" It was my dad. FML.
Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble gobble!" FML.
Today I went to a fast food restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of iced tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML.

Okay I had to make myself stop reading 10 pages deep. I foresee this being problematic.. mostly when I'm reading them in class and bust out cackling when I come across a good one! Like I have been doing for the past 30 minutes in my room alone. The roomies probably think that I'm psychotic. Well at least they know.

25 things on facebook is the greatest thing ever. I love reading them. They are like crack. I have been reading people's that I do not even know. Just friends of friends of friends. I can't get enough. Well except for when they're boring which happens a lot. I LOVED writing my 25 things because I love to talk about myself (obvi). I am constantly thinking of things that I should have mentioned and didn't. 25 is just not enough!! I just about died when I read someone's 25 things and number 20 was "crap I still have five more of these". What a waste! Id!! Lend me some of yours so I can keep talking about meee. Wow. Re-reading this has motivated me to take a quick are you a narcissist quiz online. brb.

FML. "You are a total narcissist. Your ego is totally out of control- and you couldn't care less. As far as you're concerned, you're the most important person in the world- and everyone should treat you as such. While it's good to have high self esteem, you have a strong sense of entitlement. You think you deserve more and better than everyone else.. and that's not cool."

My initial response to this was "What does some stupid quiz know? Its opinion doesn't matter!" Then I thought back to question number 5: If someone disagrees with you... A. You carefully consider what you have to say. B. You don't listen to them at all. Their opinion doesn't matter. C. They are probably right, and you end up changing your mind.

I picked B. So apparently my being right all the time makes me a narcissist. Whatevs!

Last night Scott abbreviated "you're welcome" to "welcs." Props.

Today I skyped with Tommy. I really do not know what I would do without him. I actually caught myself asking him, "How should this make me feel?" on more than one occasion over the course of our convo. He is the voice of reason in my life. Him being in Lyon is not good for me. Tommy is the only person that will tell me Sarah shut up you are being ridiculous and I will listen. Hence this narcissist kick. I lie. This is no kick. This is me. It's just more tangible when Tommy is frenching it up halfway across the freaking world.

And next year Charlie will be frenching it up. ALL YEAR. Luckily I love skyping with Charlie. I will claw my way into his vie francaise because I am scrappy. Like Monica.

Last night when I was dt I saw one of the freaks from my hall last year playing accordion on the street corner. I died. That is just too damn typical for the seventh floor of o house!! How Melanie and I survived those cretins is beyond me. Go us!

Okay I have imparted enough wisdom for one evening. Slash I have got to go get my study on because I did jack shit this entire week. FML.

peace love and gobble gobble!

2009-02-12T23:22:00.008-05:00

peeps. long time no blog.

my b.

First of all I would just like to throw out there for those of you who are looking for birthday present ideas for me that I am a BIG fan of the Obama Chia Pet, in his "determined pose":

I need one.

Okay so let's chat. Last weekend I traded debauchery in Athens for a weekend of flying. 8am Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So earlyyy but worth it. On Sunday I soloed to Dalton and back! I mean seriously--I am awesome. Go me.

I'll do my solo to Chattanooga and back next weekend. Holler.

Everyone wants to know what I do up in the plane by myself. I mean I have to fly the plane and monitor the radios and all that shiz, but this answer does not fly with those who know me. Of course Jenny knew exactly the right question to ask--"Do you sing to yourself up there?" I'm not going to lie. Of course I was singing up there! Ha. If U Seek Amy was my song of choice.

If I were up in my plane right now, though, I'd DEFINITELY be reppin Lady Gaga. I am so into her right now. Starstruck is my jam. Baby now that we're alone got a request--could you make me number one on your playlist?

Yes Lady Gaga. I could.

I'm also obsessed with Weezy's "Hot Revolver". Slash anything Weezy does.

On Tuesday night sweet Kathy gave us 5 tickets to UGA Idol. Although seriously lacking in the Paula factor, UGA Idol was not all bad. 19 contestants performed and then the three judges took freaking FOREVER to decide on the winner and the other four who will move on to Campus SuperStar. Well apparently forever was not long enough because their choices were garbage.

The actual UGA Idol winner, Terica, was fierce. She was straight-up diva and rockeddd an Aretha Franklin number. Her bio was easily my fave. Homegirl was a rockstar. Props Terica. Props.

To Laura: NO. Just no. Eat a cheeseburger and put on some pants. And stop with those "dance moves". They aren't as cute as you think they are. Trust me.

To Stephanie: YES! Rocked the outfit. Rocked the stage. Rocked the song. Plus you are in Noteworthy so you are obviously awesome. You definitely should have been a winner.

To Maggie: You are amazing. If Paula had listened to you sing, she probably would have cried. Then sent you to Campus SuperStar. Unfortunately the judges were on crack and gave Laura your place. Ids.

To Patrick: breathe. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt so unbearably awkward watching your performance.

Oh and to the comedian: get some new material. State jokes- not funny. Love joke- REALLY not funny. Probably the worst possible way to end your act, actually. You said two funny things in 30 minutes. That sucks dude.

Okay enough shit talking. Of them at least.

Chris Brown is a d bag.

I LOVE COLLEGE. On Tuesday night I went downtown with Melanie, Kerry, Natalie, and THE LEGEND that is Amy McCoy. We hit up all the cheap drank places (Amy and Natalie knew what was up) and we played charades at Gameday. Great night, needless to say.

I'm so ready for my birthday. Sushi. Karaoke. Drank. Partaeee. Athens/Charleston/Milly peeps. EEEEEEEEEEEE!

Also the padre is going to fly me to my destination of choice over the weekend of my birthday. I'm thinking New York. And as you all know the princess gets what the princess wants.

So just in case you forgot, the princess wants an Obama Chia Pet.

New favorite abrevs to annoy Kerry with: Mil Bus. Noy. Crae. Id. Grats.

Lil Wil's "Bust It Open" has a badass bass line, but listening to the lyrics makes me want to file a lawsuit against him for sexual assault. I can't get into rapping about ripping vajays open. I just can't.

I would also like to give MAD props to M.I.A for being a badass. I would love to perform at the Grammy's on my baby's due date. In stunna shades. Looking straight up gansta. She's a champ.

and that's what's up.

peace love and baby bump that track.

2009-02-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

hey peeps whats the word

I totally have a crush on my nutso Spanish professor. His name is Fuad and he rides his bike everywhere. His native tongue is Arabic, but he's also fluent in Spanish, French, and English. It's a very good possibility that this crush of mine stems from the fact that I am green with envy of his proficiency with languages. Just the same, I couldn't help but swoon when he called me "Sarah-ita" last class. He's way weird, though. One morning he left class, toothbrush and toothpaste in hand, then came back a couple minutes later without mention of it. Today he rocked a pair of purple jeans. Basically he's a g.

This morning was ROUGH. I woke up 15 minutes before my Spanish test started at 8am. So that was really freaking cool. I passed out around 10 last night because I was so ridiculously tired, with the intent of waking up at 5 to shower and study before the test. Then none of that happened. I barely brushed my teeth and shed my slippers before I woke up sweet Abby and had her drive me to class. I stumbled into Gilbert frazzled and braless, hair crusted with sweat from working out the night before, and was just loving life. LOVING IT! Yayy 8ams!

I don't know why I even bothered going to Linguistics today. All we did was go over the stupid homework that I had already dominated. So, I sat in the back row and spent my hour and fifteen minutes productively, catching up on the latest at perezhilton.com. Duh. FYI: Clay Aiken scored a spot as a guest judge on the next cycle of ANTM. He is just loving being out of the closet! And everyone signed on for the sequel to Sex and the City! Hooray! And sexyy Paul Walker (35) is engaged. To a 19 year old. They started dating when she was 16!! Vom.

It's okay if you are judging me right now.

Good news for the world: Researchers have discovered a new source to produce alternative fuel--coffee! I did my final project for Deany last semester on biofuels, but had to conclude that they were not the solution we need for a variety of reasons, one of which was the food vs. fuel debate. Biofuels developed from corn, maize, and vegetable oil are controversial because farmers are harvesting these crops to sell them off for biofuel production to get a bigger profit, and therefore the global food supply is suffering. With coffee, though, you can have your cake and eat it too, if you will. The coffee grounds are just as capable of becoming fuel after having already been used to brew a cup of coffee. Like all other alternative fuel solutions, this isn't "the answer". Our answer lies in a combination of all of our different options and in conserving at an individual level. Nonetheless, this is definitely a step in the right direction! Read more about it at economist.com.

When Anderson Cooper asked the prez if he's had a smoke since being in the White House, Barack says he "hasn't had a smoke on these grounds." I mean as disgusting as smoking is, you can't deny the man looks damn sexy with a smoke in his mouth..

So I will let his sketch response slide.

Eff. I have flying lessons at 8am tomorrow. Then a bio test back in Athens at 1. A bio test I have yet to start studying for..

Ave Maria.

peace love and sarah-ita

2009-02-03T21:18:00.001-05:00

GREAT NEWS: Pre-Nursing is no longer a major at UGA. Better yet- you can't even have a Pre-Nursing emphasis! WOO HOOOOOO

Basically my life is in shambles. Right now would be an excellent time to start studying for my French test tomorrow. Alas, here I am, appeasing the masses with my words of enlightenment. So enlighten I will..

While perusing urbandictionary.com, I struck gold (no surprise there):

Gangsta Flakes: A cereal similar in nature to Lucky Charms; but, instead of sissy stars and rainbows, Gangsta Flakes includes guns, knives, ho's, and of course, gangsters. One may feel particularly gangster after a bowl or two.

Celebrate diversity and eat Gangsta Flakes!

Can't be a gangster? Do the next best thing- eat Gangsta Flakes! You'll be ballin in no time.

You better believe I will be stocking up on Gangsta Flakes tomorrow when I force myself to go to the grocery store. I seriously need to get my shiz together. My milk is spoiled, all I have left are the endsies from my loaf of bread, and tico cookies currently comprise the majority of my food supply. Today I sustained myself on dried fruits and a contraband chicken salad sandwich stolen from the dining halls by my dealer [of sandwiches]. So tomorrow I have a date with Kroger. And Gangsta Flakes.

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

I am currently infatuated with ostriches. It started two weekends ago when me and my St Simons fam saw the Dirty Jobs episode about ostrich farming. For those of you who are unimpressed with ostriches, you should know that ostriches run at about 46 mph--the top land speed of any bird. Also, a swift kick to the neck from these babies will result in immediate death to the so-called "king of the beasts," the lion. The female ostrich prefers pecking to kicking. For those of you who missed the Dirty Jobs episode, the best part was when they made the ostrich noise...

On that note, I bid you adieu. I'm sorry, but you just can't follow an act like that. You just can't.

peace love and HOO HOO

2009-02-02T21:45:00.000-05:00

WATTUP WORLD

I have missed you ever so much. Although Athens is admittedly no Costa Rica, don't think my life is any less awesome. Let's be real.

SO classes are destroying me. What was I thinking trying to just jump into a 16 hour semester? I spent last semester in Costa Rica basically having everything I touched turn to gold. I came out of an Ecology class with an A. I mean really? Ruh-dic. And so I was left with a severely inflated ego, hence the recent addition of a second major: Pre-Nursing. Too bad I can't even handle Romance Languages anymore! My French has been shot to hell. Gracias C Rica! Muchisimas gracias..

Oy vey.

I'd like to take a minute to make a tribute to my bff Charlie and his unbelievably fabulous life. Please note that his fabulousness only contributes to my own by association, and in no way does it take away from the fabulousness that is my life. That being said, Charlie's life RULES. He goes to USC and lives in a fancy LA apartment and goes to a fancy LA gym where he sees celebs all the freaking time. Last week I got a call after he ran side-by-side with Channing Tatum, and then another after he witnessed Janice Dickinson throwing a bitch fit to her personal trainer. Not to mention his being on the red carpet for the Twilight premiere. Oh and he's a model slash actor. Who does triathlons. Who summers in the Caribbean. Riddle me this: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHARLIE WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE A BLOG?!

HOT MESS (whom I love)

I went and saw Joshua Radin's concert on Friday night. He was great. I went with Cayman and Abby and we thought he was super cute, up until we went to go get a picture with him after the show and he had Sleezy McIfUSeekAmy on his arm. Chica was on the prowl. We took our cue to keep walking when she grabbed his ass. Cayman did get a picture with precious Jesse Harris, who told her that he loved her dancing. Ah!

Before the concert us LLCers went over to Dean and Kathy's for high dinner. I love them so very very much. Deany prepared a feast for us! We had delicious ensaladas and then linguine with tilapia and shrimps. Kathy made us a black forest cake. And of course there was C Rican cafe. Delicioso! I can't wait til we go over there again. I just can't get enough of those two! We suggested a sleep-over for next time..

WHAT ELSE? Oh for those who haven't seen my new favorite commercial, here it is for your viewing pleasure: HIGH LIFE!

Birthday Countdown: 24 days.

Okay much love peeps. I'll be back soon. Ciao!

peace love and high life!