In celebration of my entry into junior year of college, I have decided to dip my toes into the foreboding "real world." Somebody bump "Independent Women" and let me throw my hands up at Destiny's Child because I am a honey makin money. HAY.
The motivation for my job hunt began with an overdraft here, an insufficient funds there. As these two occurrences started making more and more frequent appearances in my fabulous life, I considered my options. As you may have gathered, my efforts to acquire a sugar daddy were not as fruitful as I'd hope they'd be. Charlie and I discussed prostitution rather extensively, and although I ultimately ruled it out, I cannot speak for my money-maker-faced friend. After sugar daddy and prostitution, I was fresh out of ideas, so I mentally prepared myself to rock a blue collar. I did not actively pursue this lifestyle; I did so passively, inquiring about the "Now Hiring" sign as I was checking out at Old Navy with two new pairs of jeans ($19 sale what what) and halfheartedly filling out the thousand-question online application. I was all talk. I blathered on about this "job hunt" that I was pursuing in theory, and as luck would have it, that is exactly what led me to my current place of work. A friend told me that her and her boyfriend had eaten at a new Mexican restaurant and that the owner had mentioned he was hiring, so Smelanie and I worked up a hearty appetite and ventured over to have a Mexican feast and to inquire about the position. A veggie quesadilla later, I was convinced that this restaurant was my destiny. When I asked the owner if they were hiring, he gave me the once-over and told me I could start the next day. Baffled, all I could think to ask was what to wear (jeans and a tee shirt). It was only then, after hiring me, that he asked if I had any experience waitressing. I told him no, and he said "Don't worry, honey. I will to help you. If you make mistake, I fix it. I can tell you are good girl. I wish you to make good money here. I wish us to be best friends." And that was that.
I freaking love my job. My boss is the man. He's from Jordan, and I'm trying to get him to teach me Arabic. Thus far, I know two words: "habibi" and "ameera." "Habibi" means my love, and so that is what we call each other. "Ameera" means princess, but when I tried to get him to call me that he kept calling me Fiona, saying that I was the Fiona to his Shrek. That's a negative, ghost writer.
Other notables about the boss man: he is the owner/manager/cook/bus boy of a restaurant that is open 7 days a week, he thinks it's hysterical to call me "beeotch", he loves going dt- the loft is his fave, he drives this huge ass chester the molester van equipped with tinted windows, he is a lightweight (don't tell anyone it's a secret), oh and nbd he's the three-time national ping pong champion of Jordan. Third in the entirety of the Middle East. Yeah he just slipped that little nugget into conversation one day. Hasn't mentioned it since.
Smel and I work the entire day on Sundays--11 am until 11 pm. When I told Deany Weany this, he asked if I was doing time for a DUI. No DUIs, Deany, just getting those dolla dolla bills. I also am working away my Thursday and Friday nights, but it's quite alright because for the first time in my life I have cash money in my wallet. I have this great idea to deposit some of it in my savings, but thus far have not followed through on this noble idea. Instead, I buy things on impulse. The other day I went to Wal Mart and dropped 50 dollars.. today I dropped 60 at Target. Reflecting on this, I am currently revisiting the depositing earnings into my savings idea...and. um. yeah. That should happen.
Other things...
- September 17th: Survivor: Samoa.
- Thin Mint Tuesdays. Tequila Thursdays. Mason Jar Fridays? LEGENDARY.
- I have nearly perfected the Hoedown Throwdown and am in search of a social gathering where I can flaunt my newly acquired life skill. Let me know if you know of such an event.
- Saw UP at the dollar theater today. Cried three times. So much better than the Georgia game that I had to sit through right after.
- Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back! I am waiting for the perfect fall day to have my first.. then I will crave them uncontrollably til it gets warm again. Curse you and your delicious libations, Starbucks. CURSE YOU!
- The legends have found our morning-after restaurant and it is nothing short of glorious.
- Coupons are one of my passions in life. This is a new revelation. I wish to make the majority of my purchases from now on using coupons. Thus far this semester, I have dropped coups at Inoko Sushi Express, Planet Smoothie, Smoothie King, Subway, and Papa John's, and I have no intentions of slowing down any time soon.
- Just re-watched the 5th Harry Potter and definitely think that the showdown between Voldemort and Dumbledore is the all-time greatest fight scene. Ever. Also, have been pondering what my patronus would look like. I like to think it'd be an ostrich. I'd settle for a sea otter, though.
- I really want a leather jacket.
- Party in the USA is my JAM right now. I spent the hour and a half drive from Athens to Roswell listening to nothing but Miley. The Hannah Montana movie changed my life, and if you're judging me it's only because you haven't seen it.
Okay I have my DUI shift in the morning, so I'm off to bed. I am pledging to post more frequently so my fabulosity doesn't build up to the point that I can't focus because that is what's happening right now. Ta for now.
Some websites to peruse during class (or during your hiatus from school, whichever):
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
peace love and party in the usa
