Monday, September 14, 2009

my dreams are bursting at the seams.

wattup!

I cannot get enough of Owl City right now. Fireflies. Hello Seattle. The Airway. Designer Skyline. Dental Care. Fireflies. Fireflies. Fireflies.

On Friday I went to see Sister Hazel at the Classic Center. Never have I used the word "awkward" to describe a concert, but I can think of no word that better embodies the experience that was had on Friday night. Things seemed to be looking up when we first arrived: there was this HOT MESS of a girl who stumbled out of the bathroom, then proceeded to slide down the entirety of the staircase with a smile spread across her face as if it wasn't WILDLY inappropriate for her to be blackout drunk at a Children's Miracle Network benefit concert (at 7:00, no less). We entered the theater and made our way past every yellow-collared dope who wanted to triple-check our tickets, all the way to the Pi Phi section. As an honorary Pi Phi, I proudly sported my VIP wristband and trash talked the cretins who had invaded the Pi Phi territory without wristbands. Before they were removed, of course. Things took a turn for the worse as the yellow collars took the stage and gave a lackluster intro for the main event. Sister Hazel took the stage, and I stood amongst the throng of my fellow concert-goers. I was ready to jam, but as I looked around during the opening number I realized a jam session was not on the agenda for the evening. Everyone was SO uptight, stiffened and seemingly disconcerted to even be at a concert. I flailed my arms and sang (read: shouted) along, and was getting looks. WTF. When the band would stop singing and direct the mike to the crowd to signal an impromptu sing-along, my voice was the only audible noise emitted from the masses. Ken Block described the embarrassing exchange as a "polite sing-along," but sadly he came to find that no, that's just typical weak shit Georgia crowds. I didn't let that ruin my night, though. I sang and danced along as if I weren't surrounded by a bunch of twerps with sticks up their asses. MVP moment of the night: when everyone else SAT DOWN DURING THE BASS SOLO (ARE YOU KIDDING?), Jacqueline, Melanie, Ku, and I just jammed. Glorious. Needless to say, I made Pi Phi look damn good. A mandolin moon and a champagne high later, I was loving life and wasn't even bothered by my embarrassing crowd counterparts.

On Saturday morning, I was the only lameass driving out of Athens on the sacred first home game of the season. Although I was bitter about this fact for the better part of my morning, by the time I had donned my new lbd in preparation for my flight instructor's wedding on Saturday night, thoughts of tailgating and kegs were off of my radar. I was all smiles as I thought of the prospect of an open bar paired with my favorite past time: people watching. And what a glorious night it was. I took Brandes as my date, and we decided that we should consider wedding crashing as a viable career option. During dinner, we sat at a table full of the bride's family members--I have met the bride all of ONCE, mind you. We stuffed Brandes's pockets with the candy that was sitting out for guests. We made nice with the bartender, and she hooked us UP. She crafted a sangria for me once the red wine was running low, and then treated me to "cool punch" when the sangria was out. After cool punch, she stopped naming her concoctions, instead focusing on avoiding any unwanted attention from the nearby cops as she dumped gin and beer in with the kiddy punch. Of course there was champagne for the toasts, and buckets of beer for when everything else was gone. CLEARLY I had a fantastic evening. Work the next day was rough, but it was worth it. Besides, boss man sent me home to take a three hour nap, which made life so much better.

I saw a guy get hit by a University bus on Friday. The story was not even published in the red and black. wtf. Our school newspaper is not competent of anything beyond daily crosswords and football coverage. You know, the hard stuff.

Okay I need to drag my ass to the gym. Peace out girl scouts.

peace love and fireflies.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

hoedown throwdown

I received a text message last week that read, "today marks the one month mark since you last blogged. Sucks that your life stopped being fabulous." So I figured it was about time that I provide a life update for my diehard fan. A life update on my still very fabulous life, might I add.

In celebration of my entry into junior year of college, I have decided to dip my toes into the foreboding "real world." Somebody bump "Independent Women" and let me throw my hands up at Destiny's Child because I am a honey makin money. HAY.

The motivation for my job hunt began with an overdraft here, an insufficient funds there. As these two occurrences started making more and more frequent appearances in my fabulous life, I considered my options. As you may have gathered, my efforts to acquire a sugar daddy were not as fruitful as I'd hope they'd be. Charlie and I discussed prostitution rather extensively, and although I ultimately ruled it out, I cannot speak for my money-maker-faced friend. After sugar daddy and prostitution, I was fresh out of ideas, so I mentally prepared myself to rock a blue collar. I did not actively pursue this lifestyle; I did so passively, inquiring about the "Now Hiring" sign as I was checking out at Old Navy with two new pairs of jeans ($19 sale what what) and halfheartedly filling out the thousand-question online application. I was all talk. I blathered on about this "job hunt" that I was pursuing in theory, and as luck would have it, that is exactly what led me to my current place of work. A friend told me that her and her boyfriend had eaten at a new Mexican restaurant and that the owner had mentioned he was hiring, so Smelanie and I worked up a hearty appetite and ventured over to have a Mexican feast and to inquire about the position. A veggie quesadilla later, I was convinced that this restaurant was my destiny. When I asked the owner if they were hiring, he gave me the once-over and told me I could start the next day. Baffled, all I could think to ask was what to wear (jeans and a tee shirt). It was only then, after hiring me, that he asked if I had any experience waitressing. I told him no, and he said "Don't worry, honey. I will to help you. If you make mistake, I fix it. I can tell you are good girl. I wish you to make good money here. I wish us to be best friends." And that was that.

I freaking love my job. My boss is the man. He's from Jordan, and I'm trying to get him to teach me Arabic. Thus far, I know two words: "habibi" and "ameera." "Habibi" means my love, and so that is what we call each other. "Ameera" means princess, but when I tried to get him to call me that he kept calling me Fiona, saying that I was the Fiona to his Shrek. That's a negative, ghost writer.

Other notables about the boss man: he is the owner/manager/cook/bus boy of a restaurant that is open 7 days a week, he thinks it's hysterical to call me "beeotch", he loves going dt- the loft is his fave, he drives this huge ass chester the molester van equipped with tinted windows, he is a lightweight (don't tell anyone it's a secret), oh and nbd he's the three-time national ping pong champion of Jordan. Third in the entirety of the Middle East. Yeah he just slipped that little nugget into conversation one day. Hasn't mentioned it since.

Smel and I work the entire day on Sundays--11 am until 11 pm. When I told Deany Weany this, he asked if I was doing time for a DUI. No DUIs, Deany, just getting those dolla dolla bills. I also am working away my Thursday and Friday nights, but it's quite alright because for the first time in my life I have cash money in my wallet. I have this great idea to deposit some of it in my savings, but thus far have not followed through on this noble idea. Instead, I buy things on impulse. The other day I went to Wal Mart and dropped 50 dollars.. today I dropped 60 at Target. Reflecting on this, I am currently revisiting the depositing earnings into my savings idea...and. um. yeah. That should happen.

Other things...
  • September 17th: Survivor: Samoa.
  • Thin Mint Tuesdays. Tequila Thursdays. Mason Jar Fridays? LEGENDARY.
  • I have nearly perfected the Hoedown Throwdown and am in search of a social gathering where I can flaunt my newly acquired life skill. Let me know if you know of such an event.
  • Saw UP at the dollar theater today. Cried three times. So much better than the Georgia game that I had to sit through right after.
  • Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back! I am waiting for the perfect fall day to have my first.. then I will crave them uncontrollably til it gets warm again. Curse you and your delicious libations, Starbucks. CURSE YOU!
  • The legends have found our morning-after restaurant and it is nothing short of glorious.
  • Coupons are one of my passions in life. This is a new revelation. I wish to make the majority of my purchases from now on using coupons. Thus far this semester, I have dropped coups at Inoko Sushi Express, Planet Smoothie, Smoothie King, Subway, and Papa John's, and I have no intentions of slowing down any time soon.
  • Just re-watched the 5th Harry Potter and definitely think that the showdown between Voldemort and Dumbledore is the all-time greatest fight scene. Ever. Also, have been pondering what my patronus would look like. I like to think it'd be an ostrich. I'd settle for a sea otter, though.
  • I really want a leather jacket.
  • Party in the USA is my JAM right now. I spent the hour and a half drive from Athens to Roswell listening to nothing but Miley. The Hannah Montana movie changed my life, and if you're judging me it's only because you haven't seen it.
Okay I have my DUI shift in the morning, so I'm off to bed. I am pledging to post more frequently so my fabulosity doesn't build up to the point that I can't focus because that is what's happening right now. Ta for now.

Some websites to peruse during class (or during your hiatus from school, whichever):
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

peace love and party in the usa

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

twenties

Look, since your twenties are basically going to be chaos anyway, do as my grandma said to do: Take advantage of them and use the time to get some real life experiences. Travel, if you can. Try a new city. Suffer through a bunch of humiliating entry-level positions in the name of "comparison shopping."
Waitress in a scummy bar while you take voice lessons during the day or pursue your painting. Work for noble causes and nonprofits you believe in; chances are, like most do-gooder organizations, they'll pay you crap, treat you like shit, and work you to death, but hey! It beats becoming a corporate weenie at twenty-three and working eighty-hour weeks for some cryptofacist corporation that leaves you with zilch for a soul.
Now is the time when you can afford to experiment. For never again will you think it's kind of groovy to share an apartment with two other girls in the meat-packing district and eat dinner every night at bars that serve free ravioli and nachos during happy hour.

-Susan Jane Gilman, Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess

Monday, July 27, 2009

pura vida




PURA VIDA
, literally translated means "Pure Life" but means contextually something approximate to "Full of Life", "Purified life", "This is living!", "Going great", or "Cool!" It can be used as a greeting, as a word of farewell, to express satisfaction, and in some instances to politely express indifference when describing something. The phrase has become widely known; this highly flexible statement is used by many Costa Ricans (and expatriates) since 1956. Some foreigners view the phrase as an expression of a leisurely lifestyle, of disregard for time and wanton friendliness. However, Costa Ricans use the phrase to express something akin to a philosophy of strong community, perseverance, resilience in overcomming difficulties with good spirits, and enjoying life slowly and celebrating good fortune of magnitudes small and large alike.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

i make them good girls go bad.

hello all.

I have failed at every attempt to do day-by-day posts of my summer adventures, but whatever. That's not to say it doesn't bother me when I see days 1, 2, and 3, and days 4, 5, 6, and 7 are very obviously missing... but perhaps one day I will get to it. Perhaps not. I trust life will go on for most of you.

Two days after I got back from the big easy, I left for one of my favorite places in the world: Rutledge, Georgia. Rutledge, a self-proclaimed "small but special" town, population 700, and home to Hard Labor Creek State Park. Every summer, Roswell Presbyterian's youth group heads out to this glorious plot of nowhere for a week of straight up amazingness. Counselors head up the Friday before campers get there on Sunday to set up for the week and to have some time to ourselves. Upon arrival on Friday, the profuse sweating began and did not end until the following Friday. At Rutledge, hygiene is not a huge priority. Many shower in Rutledge lake--a lovely watering hole that stains you brown upon entry--and others choose not to shower at all. Andrew Brandes. The one hygienic practice we try to enforce is wearing deodorant, but there were a handful of rebels. What can you do? During the week, we play lots of softball, volleyball, and ultimate frisbee. Thankfully I had the freshmen girls for campers so I got to play in the "lower girls" league. My MVP moment of the week was catching a pop fly.. screaming as the ball arced through the air in my general direction, then taking a few less than graceful steps forward with my mitt outstretched and leaning forward, closing my eyes for a moment then opening them to see the ball had miraculously landed in my mitt, right alongside the dandelion that I'd woven into the palm of my glove. I'm a five year old girl. No big deal.

Meredith called me the Thursday night before we left for Rutledge to ask if I would do the morning skit with her.. I told her that she mustn't realize how very socially awkward I can be, but she insisted I do it with her. I responded that if she could find no one else then I'd do it, and listed off a handful of names of people who would be much better than I would be, hoping that one of them would be foolish enough to say yes. She grabbed me the next morning and told me what was only to be expected: she could find no one else, and so I would be doing the morning skit with her. Not that I don't love being in front of a crowd with a mike in my hand, it's just that I was terrified that no one would think we were funny. Apparently we did alright, though. I was Paris Holiday Inn and Meredith was my bff Nicole Poor-ie. It was hhhhhot. My personal favorite part was when I rapped, Bonquiqui style.

On the mike is a diva so listen to me scream-a.
I'm up here lookin hot.
We both lookin hot.
We strut on the runway.
We pose on the runway.
We both lookin hot and fly on the runway.
HAYYYYYY!

Skillz. I know.

A final note: WHO WILL PROTECT THIS HOUSE? WILL YOU PROTECT THIS HOUSE? WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!

We got back from Rutledge on Friday afternoon, then I slept for 14 glorious hours. I woke only because I had to go and see the new Harry Potter movie at the earliest time on Saturday (noon at Park 12. holler.). It was GREAT! Loved loved loved it. I wish I were Hermione Granger so badly. Also that Ron/ Rupert were my boyfriend (I'm in love with him as a wizard and as an muggle.. I don't discriminate). I had Blimpie for lunch, though, and was gravely disappointed. I was told that it was "exactly like Subway" but it most definitely was not. Subway is much better. Much.

Speaking of Subway, I just got back from Subway Fest 09. Me, Victoria, and the moms drove up to Charleston on Sunday afternoon for Victoria's orientation at the beginning of this week. We probably outdid Jared in Subway consumption over a three-day period. I need an intervention or something. The trip was great, though. Victoria got to meet all these freaks in her incoming class and calm her nerves a bit, whilst I got a jump start on my back to school shopping and celebrated free pastry day at Starbucks. Gosh my life. I also fell head over heels in love with Fresh Berry Yogurt, a Pinkberry wannabe I believe, but delicious nonetheless. On Tuesday, Victoria finished her advisement at like 11am and we had nothing else to do until 3:30 when they were handing out everyone's Cougar Cards at the bookstore. We got lunch at the dining hall, and walked around some, but ended up back at the bookstore waiting in line around 2. I picked up Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life and was cackling for all to hear. She is so freaking funny. I'm cheap and didn't buy the book, but my roomie has it waiting back for me at 1979 so I'll get to finish it later this week. Yessss.

This morning has been so nice. I got up fully rested, much UNLIKE the mornings waking up in the dysfunctional air-conditioned room at Days Inn. I enjoyed my coffee and cereal with Ellen Degeneres on her 51st birthday, then ran on the treadmill and have been enjoying my endorphin high ever since. I have flying lessons at 2 with Patrick, then going to the Braves game tonight at 7, then afterwards going to Athens to hang with my boo Tommy! Yay!

My current song obsessions are One Day by Matisyahu, Down by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne (obvi.), and Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship ft. LEIGHTON MEESTER. Bahhh I freaking love her. She's such a g.

Victoria has brought it to my attention that I have a lot of celebs that I am obsessed with and or want to be. Leighton Meester, Nicole Richie, the Olsen twins, Emma Watson/ Hermione Granger, Penelope Cruz in Vicki Christina Barcelona, Kristin Cavallari, Angelina Jolie.. Yes I am indeed obsessed with all of them, and probably more that I am forgetting right now, but wanting to be them? Eh. My life is pretty flippin sweet. It's good to be me.

peace out girl scouts.

peace love and yay me.